Yeah but think of the macro gains for our scaly friends if they dine on elite athletes instead of mostly fish. Lent is almost over, let them have some fun.
posted by phunniemee at 9:09 AM on March 25 [2 favorites]

Are they hosting open-water swimming in the same place? (better than the Seine, surely)
posted by Dotty at 9:15 AM on March 25

Are they hosting open-water swimming in the same place? (better than the Seine, surely)

That was initially suggested, but then the relevant organisers came to their senses.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 9:18 AM on March 25

Crocodilian sports influencers without smartphones putting the Real in real life -- what a concept.
posted by y2karl at 9:20 AM on March 25

If they hold the horse jumping in the same place I estimate that the UK Olympic team could get 27% less posh.

In the most entertaining way possible.
posted by biffa at 10:17 AM on March 25

I want them to take safety seriously and don't want anybody to get hurt, but I can't shake the deep down feeling that it would make kayak cross even more awesome if occasionally and without warning a kayaker was just swallowed whole by a crocodile like Captain Hook
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 10:23 AM on March 25 [2 favorites]

Also in the region: "The Fitzroy has been called the 'world's last stronghold' for the critically endangered sawfish." They don't prey on people, but can grow to 20+ feet, and look...well, almost as dangerous as a saltie.
posted by davidmsc at 10:28 AM on March 25

Also in the region: "The Fitzroy has been called the 'world's last stronghold' for the critically endangered sawfish." They don't prey on people, but can grow to 20+ feet, and look...well, almost as dangerous as a saltie.

Unlike crocodiles, sawfish are in far more danger from us than we are from them. There's been like one recorded human death from a sawfish - a diver who deliberately swam practically right on top of one. (Personal space is a thing, people! Don't be a Steve Irwin!)
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 10:34 AM on March 25 [3 favorites]

Unlike crocodiles, sawfish are in far more danger from us than we are from them.

I bet people are far more dangerous for crocs than the reverse.
posted by biffa at 10:38 AM on March 25

I bet people are far more dangerous for crocs than the reverse.

Not since crocodiles got legal protection.

Over the past few years there have been far more news stories about humans in Australia being killed by crocodiles than there have been about humans illegally killing crocodiles (and yes, humans illegally killing crocodiles DOES get news coverage.)
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 10:49 AM on March 25 [1 favorite]

Good news!
posted by biffa at 10:55 AM on March 25

make kayak cross even more awesome

Kayak Cross is *already* about 1000% more exciting than most other sports. If we are going to go around letting people be eaten by crocodiles, I suggest we introduce them to the main swimming races.

But maybe not the backstroke -- it would be unfair if the swimmers can't even see them coming.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:10 AM on March 25

But maybe not the backstroke -- it would be unfair if the swimmers can't even see them coming.

To be fair, given that crocodiles usually attack things that are in the water from underwater, and that crocodiles can hold their breath for a REALLY long time, people doing breaststroke or overarm probably wouldn't see them coming either.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 11:16 AM on March 25

why does the post title resemble deranged AI hallucinatory language (but in the best way)
posted by ginger.beef at 2:30 PM on March 25

This is an important step towards getting pigshooting added as a demonstration sport.
posted by jjderooy at 2:39 PM on March 25

I think I'd feel safer if I knew they had been eating much...

(Also, I never realized a newly-hatched crocodile would look so cute.)
posted by demi-octopus at 3:03 PM on March 25 [1 favorite]

Aussie murder logs
posted by supermedusa at 5:37 PM on March 25

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