June 19

Is there a term for this phenomenon?

Where social norms become... twisted into a performative reverse, for lack of a better phrasing. The example that comes to mind is: a culture values hospitality and making sure guests are comfortable, so instead of actually making sure that happens, it becomes taboo to complain as a guest and guests are expected to pretend the hosts are doing a great job even if they are uncomfortable.
posted by wheatlets to Human Relations at 2:35 PM - 0 answers

Remove old spray paint from guitar ?

When I was a child I decided my white bass was boring, so I spray-painted it with metallic blue krylon. Most likely, the white finish beneath it is nitrocellulose since the bass is from the 60’s. Is there a solvent or technique for removing the krylon without damaging the nitro finish beneath it?
posted by Devils Rancher to Media & Arts at 11:41 AM - 3 answers

Options for multiple email accounts

My academic institution is disabling email forwarding and POP access. What are my options? gmail based. [more inside]
posted by Dashy to Technology at 10:01 AM - 9 answers

Trackpoint-like mouse device for laptop in cramped situations

My old work laptop had a trackpoint-like device in addition to a touchpad, which made navigating documents (and writing) significantly easier in cramped bus seats. My new work laptop does not, and it makes working on the bus so awful that I've stopped doing it. What options do I have that will make this less painful so I can go back to taking a later bus? [more inside]
posted by thecaddy to Computers & Internet at 7:59 AM - 10 answers

June 18

How do I speak to a geriatric psychiatrist about my mother?

I think I’ve finally gotten the ball rolling on my mother seeing a geriatric psychiatrist. Now, how do I actually speak to them (and other geriatric/mental heath professionals about her)? [more inside]
posted by VirginiaPlain to Health & Fitness at 11:34 PM - 11 answers

Nice bowl stuck inside cheap bowl

Two bowls stuck together - temperature tricks don't work. Should I break the outer one? [more inside]
posted by Knowyournuts to grab Bag at 9:40 PM - 31 answers

hypertension until a doctor's visit?

YAMND. I was testing out a blood pressure cuff for my partner and while it gave them normal readings, I had the unpleasant surprise of getting readings indicating hypertension stage 2, both arms. Although I've always had pretty normal blood pressure, I have been very stressed and very inactive lately, so this would track. I will next see a doctor in person in two weeks. What should I do till then? (Assume if I have any serious symptoms at all, I will go to the ER.)
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness at 5:00 PM - 19 answers

Notepad++ parenthesis highlighting that will not die

Help me drive a stake through the heart of this monster. [more inside]
posted by Lemkin to Technology at 3:40 PM - 4 answers

Moving wine against the flow

I need to ship a case (12 bottles) of wine from Canada to Italy. This is the opposite direction that google thinks I should be moving wine. Does anyone have recommendations of shipping companies? [more inside]
posted by platypus of the universe to Travel & Transportation at 3:28 PM - 2 answers

On The Fence

Photos of fence and posts I've salvaged some fence panels and poles. Some questions... [more inside]
posted by falsedmitri to Home & garden at 2:03 PM - 8 answers

What's up Chicago?

I'll be in Chicago for a week end of June/start of July. What should I do? Art, music, books, queers, protests, outdoorsy stuff, history, vegetarian food.. and? Staying near McCormick Place if that is a real thing? But tooling around on transit is a fun activity for me. [more inside]
posted by latkes to Travel & Transportation at 8:56 AM - 19 answers

How to keep US number active after moving to Japan

My friend is moving to Japan for good and wants to keep her US number active . She is currently on a family plan with a friend. She is going to ditch her current service carrier and is looking for a new plan for her to keep using while living in Japan. She needs to use that number for mainly 2FA for bank/SS services. What is the best phone carriers with the best plan available to use for long term?
posted by SunPower to Technology at 7:54 AM - 17 answers

Help with sudden aggression in spayed female indoor cat

Why did I smell scary and bad to my cat yesterday and what can I do about this in future? [more inside]
posted by chives to Pets & Animals at 7:08 AM - 9 answers

give me your Philly recommendations

We'll be there for a couple days. Suggestions for things to do, see, and eat? good coffee, gelato, places to have dinner? No cheesesteaks because I don't eat beef! . Staying near Rittenhouse Square but will be all over. Thanks!
posted by gigondas to Society & Culture at 6:46 AM - 20 answers

Ejecting an External HardDrive from a PC

Looking for a way to 'properly' eject a HHD from a Windows 10 PC [more inside]
posted by dbirchum to Computers & Internet at 6:35 AM - 6 answers

How to protect domain ownership if the webdev dies?

I'm hosting websites for an author friend and for a local Quaker organisation, which means that technically I own their domain names, registered within my overall hosting package. Is there some sort of established best practice for how to protect them against losing their domain names if I were to drop dead? It seems like there should be but I haven't been able to find anything. They're not technical enough to manage their domain names themselves.
posted by Rhedyn to Computers & Internet at 4:11 AM - 5 answers

June 17

Help me find the most wonderful, most comfortable bra... again.

Many years ago I bought this incredible bra. Help me find the same bra or something similar! [more inside]
posted by silverstatue to Shopping at 6:56 PM - 4 answers

Insect Identification: Horror Movie Edition

What in the heck are these insects crawling all over a tree we cut down? [more inside]
posted by Eyelash to Science & Nature at 5:31 PM - 3 answers

office chair that feels like a car seat?

so i’ve got a chronic pain condition that makes office chairs hurt, but that is never triggered while I’m driving a car. what office chair is the “it feels like i’m sitting in a car” chair of my dreams? [more inside]
posted by bombastic lowercase boatshoes to Shopping at 5:10 PM - 9 answers

Recommend a Mechanical Drawing App?

Can you recommend a 2D mechanical drawing app? I see a few on google but I'm worried about downloading and then having to deal with some garbage. No, I don't trust google. Please see more inside. [more inside]
posted by snsranch to Computers & Internet at 4:36 PM - 4 answers

What is this thing plugged into the outlet?

I came across this photo. What is this thing plugged into the outlet under the window??
posted by SageTrail to Technology at 3:39 PM - 12 answers

Home insurance in Seattle?

Looking for homeowner insurance. My current policy with Amica literally increased the premium by >25% from last year to this year! 😱 Any tips for brokers or direct companies serving Seattle homeowners? [more inside]
posted by splitpeasoup to Home & garden at 1:03 PM - 4 answers

groin strain and daily living

I (43F) have a groin strain causing a lot of hip pain on my left side. I already have trouble bending because of fibromyalgia in my back, and now it's really hard to sit down (especially on the toilet), feed cats, other daily living stuff. I am good on medical information but I'm looking for tips on how to navigate basics. I can get small amounts of help, like 20 minutes/day. What can I do to to make daily life easier? give me your best positions, hacks, etc.
posted by mermaidcafe to Health & Fitness at 11:46 AM - 9 answers

Oh dear what could that spider be?

I have no photo of this mystery spider! Details within. [more inside]
posted by Frowner to Home & garden at 11:19 AM - 9 answers

What kind of therapy was this?

A friend recently shared with me an experience she had with what seems like a somewhat troubling form of therapy during the early to mid-1980s, offered through the counseling center at the Canadian university she was attending at the time. The therapy involved punching pillows as a way to release anger, and also included the therapist holding her down on the floor, though the purpose of that part remains unclear. The therapist had recently learned the technique in Quebec, although not sure whether the modality originated there. Does anyone recognize what this form of therapy might have been called?
posted by nanook to Health & Fitness at 11:15 AM - 5 answers

Exercise Regiment for male approaching 60

I want to get in shape. I'm not particularly overweight but I am out of shape and I feel as I age, my body isn't what it used to be. I'm looking for a good program for people my age who are absolute beginners. I want to strengthen my core and get fit but I need to start at the absolute beginning, nothing too strenuous off the bat as last time I tried I ended up in 8 weeks of physical therapy. A program with an app is a bonus.
posted by captainscared to Health & Fitness at 11:02 AM - 8 answers

Best looping machine / beats pad for a 5-year-old?

My 5-year-old loves to sing, rhyme, and make music. Can you recommend an easy-to-use looping pad for them? [more inside]
posted by knownassociate to Technology at 8:52 AM - 10 answers

Tech Stock / Options Lawyer

Hello! I’m looking for a recommendation for a lawyer who specializes in tech stocks and options for employees in the NYC area. That’s it! Thanks for any suggestions!
posted by catrae to Work & Money at 8:38 AM - 5 answers

Is there a way to *shorten* the my iPhone's Bluetooth range?

Yes, shorten! My iPhone autoconnects to my Subaru when I start the car (good thing), but it also autoconnects when my son takes the Subaru and my phone is with me in the house several rooms away (bad thing). It, of course, disconnects when he's a block or so away, but I'd rather it not connect unless the phone was within a few feet of the car. [more inside]
posted by Twicketface to Technology at 7:59 AM - 5 answers

How to hit a spinning object dead on and produce a circular impression

As a kid I believed that meteor craters were circular because meteors struck the earth dead on. Then I learned about shockwaves and it made a lot more sense. I want my childhood back. [more inside]
posted by Tell Me No Lies to Science & Nature at 7:20 AM - 18 answers

Help me be less of a parody of myself (cat person edition)

I am realizing I don't travel at all because of my cat. My cat is, of course, the very best cat but I would like this not to be an effect of having the very best cat. A few details below. [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Pets & Animals at 6:02 AM - 18 answers

June 16

Irregular beeping in my room

I frequently but inconsistently hear a beeping in my bedroom and can't trace the source. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe to Home & garden at 11:37 PM - 20 answers

I'm going on an adventure! How do I stay in touch?

So I'm about to embark on an adventure that will take me away from a lot of people I care about for the upcoming year, and I would love to know about the best ways of staying in contact. I am in particular looking for apps that Android and Apple phones could share, but other ideas are welcome as well. I already know about MarcoPolo, and we have enjoyed using that in the past, but what else is out there? [more inside]
posted by DingoMutt to grab Bag at 8:25 PM - 16 answers

When is it too late to plant prairie seeds in Illinois?

At the crest of a burst of optimism I bought a sizable bag of mixed prairie seeds. It is now, to my astonishment, mid June. When is it too late to plant them? If it’s too late now, can I stick them in the freezer until next spring? The plan is to plant things so that they reseed themselves for next year.
posted by Vatnesine to Home & garden at 5:24 PM - 7 answers

Can I Eat This -- Zen Edition

Our town hosted Tibetian monks this week. [more inside]
posted by Rumi'sLeftSock to grab Bag at 4:50 PM - 1 answer

Recommend online spirits retailers in the UK for a gift delivery

I have a family member with an important birthday soon who lives in London. I live outside the UK. I would like to send a bottle of something nice, probably single malt but not necessarily if I can find an interesting and high end alternative. What retailers should I start with to find something classy and who will be able to deliver reliably?
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen to Shopping at 3:52 PM - 10 answers

How to research divorce costs before telling spouse I'm getting lawyer?

My wife and I had a friendly talk about divorce. We've basically been separated for a year but still live together in New Jersey because of our young kids (ages 2 and 7). We get along fine and both agree our 9-year marriage isn't working anymore. I don't have hard feelings toward her, but I worry that once things get official, she might become difficult if she doesn't get what she wants. I met with a lawyer today, but she said I have to tell my wife I'm getting legal advice and basically start the divorce process before she can give me estimates for child support and alimony (I'm the higher earner). I'm happy to pay for a consultation, but this lawyer was adamant that I needed to actually FILE before she'd give me numbers. Is there a way to research likely costs in New Jersey without officially starting the process? Has anyone found lawyers willing to give preliminary estimates for a paid consultation? [more inside]
posted by The1andonly to Human Relations at 3:50 PM - 10 answers

I need the best P R I D E backpack

My niece is going to college and got thwarted by her parents on her efforts to make her dorm room a giant rainbow. I think she would love a backpack that showcases her identity as a grad present. [more inside]
posted by *s to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 3:43 PM - 11 answers

Weird issue with NYTimes.com. Please help!

Mr. Drgail is having problems with the NYTimes website and we can't figure it out. The subscription is in my name and he has one of the bonus subscriptions. Until a few days ago, this arrangement worked absolutely fine... until it didn't. [more inside]
posted by Drgail to Computers & Internet at 2:55 PM - 14 answers

Fender bender: repair, sell, trade-in?

2012 Toyota RAV4, 175,000 miles. Fender bender; out of repair cost estimate $4000. Auto insurance has $1000 deductible, agent tells us we will be forgiven this incident because of our history of good driving. [more inside]
posted by conscious matter to Travel & Transportation at 11:09 AM - 11 answers

Wireless Camera Surveillance

I am looking for a home security system with the following features ... [more inside]
posted by falsedmitri to Technology at 10:11 AM - 7 answers

How difficult an experience is treatment for a serious aneurysm?

Looking for stories, good and bad, of what recovery from a serious abdominal aneurysm can be like, particularly for an old man. [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness at 9:57 AM - 10 answers

Can I help my kid gain more patience and humility?

My older kid is a lot like me as a child, in good and not-so-good ways. I want to help her avoid some of the frustrations I have as an adult because of how I was as a kid, but I don't know if it's feasible or reasonable. [more inside]
posted by petiteviolette to Human Relations at 9:54 AM - 22 answers

Badges? We need some stinking badges?

Our son has somehow won the local soapbox derby and now I guess we're going to the championships in Akron. As part of the event, there will be a "badge trading session". What is this and how can we come up with something affordable? [more inside]
posted by griseus to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 9:21 AM - 12 answers

What songs sound MUSICALLY like this song?

What songs sound MUSICALLY like this song? I am not looking for similar themes/lyrics/topics, I am looking for similar sounds. Rina Sawayama - Frankenstein
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries to Media & Arts at 6:42 AM - 12 answers

June 15

Is this jazz AI-spawned? How can a neophyte tell?

I'm served up YouTube videos that are 20 minutes of Jazz (a couple examples below the fold) which are really just audio, the only visual is an illustration. Is this music real? The credits are so opaque and nebulous... Can the LLM Machine really generate this jazz? Why does whoever put these together? Maybe they're just copies of or pointers to Spotify playlists? [more inside]
posted by Rash to Media & Arts at 6:39 PM - 11 answers

Stand Up Paddleboard for Kayaking vs Advanced Elements Inflatable

I've been considering getting into kayaking lately and I saw that the generally well reviewed Advanced Elements AdvancedFrame inflatable kayaks are majorly on sale right now. I also saw that the Isle Marlin kayak-SUP combo is on sale for around the same price. I live in an apartment and have a small car so hard body kayaks are out for me for now. [more inside]
posted by forkisbetter to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 4:50 PM - 6 answers

good massage tool for upper back? (kneading, shiatsu style)

A yoga teacher recommended this, or something similar, to combat desk neck. I hate Amazon and try to avoid shopping there, and also want to avoid random Chinese electronics that break and can't be repaired. Is there a happy medium between super expensive stuff and Amazon cheapies, any brands or models folks recommend? Used OK, ebay OK. Example inside... [more inside]
posted by 4midori to Health & Fitness at 1:50 PM - 10 answers

More sports documentaries like "Last Dance"

Five years after everyone else, we finally watched "Last Dance" and (whatever its flaws) were riveted. Now we're watching "Legacy," about the Lakers—also great so far. What other sports documentaries should we check out? Willing to try just about any sport as long as the story is good. Thanks for your tips!
posted by DavidNYC to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 1:21 PM - 23 answers

I don’t know anything about Africa and I’d like to change that.

I’m looking to fill the gaping void in my brain where information about Africa would go. [more inside]
posted by BuddhaInABucket to Education at 12:53 PM - 20 answers

June 14

Enforcement of agreed environmental mitigation after reneging

I'm looking for instances where an organisation has reneged on restoration ( either urban or rural, with buildings, e.g. a city block or neighbourhood, or with a landscape), and then been forced legally (and/or by protest action) to do the thing they had originally agreed on that was required as a condition of their original permit or consent. [more inside]
posted by unearthed to Law & government at 5:32 PM - 15 answers

seeking a modern short story once recommended by Chuck Pahlaniuk

In a magazine interview in the 2000s, the fiction author Chuck Pahlaniuk recommended an excellent short story that I now can't find. I vaguely remember the author was female, with a name something like Robin Silver, or maybe the book was a little silver hardcover. I think the story was also the title story of the volume, or else the first story in it. It was a tricky short story, with several thematic moving parts that just perfectly snapped together at the end. Does anybody remember the title and author of the story I'm talking about?
posted by Deminime to Writing & Language at 4:41 PM - 9 answers

Who here wrote a book on online privacy?

Within the last year, someone here posted a link to a book they wrote about cybersecurity/online privacy for activists or others worried about being surveilled. I can’t find my bookmark or remember the title. The book has a light blue cover with an origami-like structure. What was the book?
posted by Hex Wrench to Computers & Internet at 2:53 PM - 5 answers

Streaming music for kids without videos

Is there a streaming music service that doesn't also do videos now (or lets you turn off the videos)? This seems like it should be obvious, but I can't seem to figure this out. [more inside]
posted by cmm to Computers & Internet at 10:07 AM - 14 answers

Berlin in Mid-June - what shouldn't we miss?

My wife and I are in Berlin from June 17 to June 24, 2025. We love weird art, parks, street food, used record stores, thrift stores, cafes, walking and biking and other city stuff. We've got a decent list of stuff to do, but I'm just wondering if there are any current exhibits/etc. that are not to be missed? (We don't speak german, we haven't ever been to germany before, but we've traveled all over Scandinavia.)
posted by chr1sb0y to Travel & Transportation at 9:03 AM - 15 answers

I really don't want my monitor winking at me.

All of a sudden, all of my browsers send my monitor into a frenzy of blinking on and off, but only on certain web pages. It makes my desktop unusable for minutes at a time. Halp. [more inside]
posted by rabia.elizabeth to Computers & Internet at 8:06 AM - 11 answers

Is Zipcar my best option in Seattle?

I live adjacent to downtown in Seattle and mostly walk or take public transit, but ~6–10 days per month, I need access to a car. I could probably get Lyft/Uber at least some of these journeys, but I don't like supporting those businesses. Is Zipcar the best option, or are there others I should consider?
posted by Cogito to Travel & Transportation at 7:46 AM - 9 answers

Funny or feel-goodish sharp-witted sites with RSS feeds

I'm doing a thing. I'm looking for accumulating an RSS reader that just holds things that won't make me hide under a bed, because there is only so much one can handle. I just want to be distracted and laugh occasionally so I don't forget how. [more inside]
posted by A Terrible Llama to Computers & Internet at 7:44 AM - 7 answers

City boy tries to mow lawn.

The 20” weed eater lawnmower was in my basement when I bought the house 18 yeas ago. Looked new then.I had it tuned up but never ended up using it. last week I got It started. Ran for a minute or so then Stalled. Can’t get it going again. Spark plug looks clean. New gas. Looking for a manual or user guide. 4hp weed eater combi-cut belt drive lawnmower
posted by pmaxwell to Home & garden at 7:19 AM - 12 answers

June 13

Small comic collection organizing

I have about three long boxes of comics I want to sell or give away. A combination of trades and floppies with a few larger collections and some hardbound volumes. I’d like to make a list of everything so I have it for reference and to send to potential buyers. Is there an app that will scan things and generate that? What’s best practices? [more inside]
posted by Mizu to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 4:40 PM - 3 answers