top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]ErythingIsFakeAndGay 8109 points8110 points  (262 children)

“The college experience”

[–][deleted] 2966 points2967 points  (138 children)

I grew up in a 'college town' in a 'flyover state'

[–]butterybakedpotato 18.9k points18.9k points 2 (476 children)

Saying “sophomore, senior,” etc.

[–]Northgates 5272 points5273 points  (63 children)

freshman junior

[–]_sir-psycho-sexy 4928 points4929 points 3 (283 children)

to this day I don't know what this shit means

[–]Spooginho 15.5k points15.5k points 35 (368 children)


[–]cytix_ 4586 points4587 points  (93 children)

i keep thinking 9/11 happened on the 9th of november because of that

[–]effa94 1105 points1106 points  (38 children)

i had to write down the date yesterday, i almost wrote 9/11 before i realised im not american. only date it happens on becasue its talked about so much

[–]agent_kater 14.5k points14.5k points 2 (418 children)

"It was 90 degrees outside." (I hope that is a reasonable number.)

[–]AthibaPls 3669 points3670 points  (112 children)

Same with gallons and square feet. 900sqft is it a palace? Is it a broom closet? I never know.

[–]JamesCDiamond 1497 points1498 points  (31 children)

Divide by 11 to get an approximate figure in square metres.

[–]Squigglificated 2178 points2179 points 3 (13 children)

So it’s the broom closet in a palace

[–]LaMoglie 247 points248 points  (8 children)

Hey! Don't talk about my home like that!!!

[–]zimmah 2269 points2270 points  (93 children)

Yeah, everywhere else in the world that would be near boiling and you'd be dead.

[–]flame2454 6908 points6909 points 2 (361 children)

"Why didn't you leave a tip?"

[–]anaemic 2130 points2131 points  (191 children)

Only ten percent? But that's so mean what did they do wrong?

[–]Tpcorholio 5983 points5984 points  (167 children)

This is an excellent chat on how not to look like a tourist lol. I am taking notes lol.

[–]_elysses_ 19.0k points19.0k points  (578 children)

I was taking a walking tour in Ireland once and the guide mentioned Notre Dame for some reason. This American guy tried to correct her pronunciation as Not-er Daym, not Not-re Daam. It was a wildly uncomfortable few minutes.

[–]DaddyKoolAid 7799 points7800 points  (177 children)

I’ve heard people attempt to ‘correct’ French tour guides in Paris.

[–]Balabos 2263 points2264 points  (73 children)

A tour guide in Paris told me that when he is guiding American tourists he always asks at some point if anyone is staying at the hotel de Ville and there are always few that put their hands up.

[–]fkmeamaraight 2372 points2373 points  (62 children)

That’s what we call Town Hall for those who don’t get the joke.

[–][deleted] 2761 points2762 points  (76 children)


[–]Godstevsky 31.8k points31.8k points 2322 (1221 children)

"Depends on what state you're in"

[–]dancingnancey 8021 points8022 points  (197 children)

I live outside the US right now and this is the answer to the majority of questions I get about home. I probably say this every day...

[–]thedrunkensot 2358 points2359 points  (175 children)

What’s the most common question you get?

[–]dancingnancey 3817 points3818 points  (146 children)

"Is weed legal?"

but also stuff about health insurance, camping, general laws etc.

[–]Inverted_Apache 5042 points5043 points  (658 children)

Where are you from? “I’m from *insert random American country town”

No, I mean what country

[–]metao 5758 points5759 points  (335 children)

Once a guy (online) replied "London". I commented on how late it was there. He said no, it was morning.

Turned out he was in London, Ohio.

[–]Daztur 1800 points1801 points  (116 children)

Had been away from home for years and years, showed up back in my home town with my Korean wife saying I'd been living in Korea.

People thought I'd been in Corea, Maine...

[–]echo-94-charlie 844 points845 points  (40 children)

Most annoying was when I was in Georgia. As in, former soviet state country Georgia. Google would even tell me it knew I was in Georgia, and happily served up a litany of squiggly ads that I couldn't understand. Yet whenever I googled anything Georgia-related it still for some reason always thought I was interested in the US state.

[–]JayCarlinMusic 321 points322 points  (10 children)

This reminds me of a funny story.

We did projects on the key figures of world war 2 back in school. I was assigned Joseph Stalin, who was from Georgia, the country. Only problem was, at no point in my research did I figure out that Georgia was a country. I just thought he was this American defector who became leader of the Soviet Union, and that’s why he wanted to help out his cool friend FDR.

So I’m presenting, I give my Schpiel, it goes well. Then it’s time for Q and A. Someone asks “wait he was from Georgia, like Atlanta?” I start shaking my head yea and get ready to respond, but the teacher interjects and was like “No sally you need to pay better attention. Georgia was a part of the Soviet Union” and basically made this girl feel stupid for not knowing this fact I clearly didn’t know either. The whole class saw me nodding but the teacher didn’t. So when she finished explaining I’m like “uh yeah what the teacher said” and quickly sat down.

[–]Monkeyman8899 445 points446 points  (129 children)

I hate this! Every free walking tour I have ever been on with an Amercian they always mention their city instead of country. Normally goes: Germany, Brazil, Australia, England, Portland ..............

[–]AutismoTheGreatt 8726 points8727 points 2 (407 children)

Thinking I have a British accent (I’m aussie)

[–]biggerwanker 2249 points2250 points  (130 children)

I'm British, living in the US and I'm losing the ability to tell. People here think I'm Australian about 80% of the time.

[–]CeeGree 1183 points1184 points  (98 children)

I’m an Aussie living in the US and it’s been guessed correctly maybe twice ever…. I’ve had South African, German !!???, New Zealand, New York and more. “Oh my Gawd, say something, I love your accent!!!”

[–]Biblelicious 12.3k points12.3k points 4 (406 children)

Asking for ranch dressing.

[–]Saviourality 7490 points7491 points 3 (190 children)

I call ranch dressing American Sauce. One time, when eating with a group of friends, I said "pass me the American sauce" and they all knew what I'm talking about. It's dumb but I get a kick out of it because ranch feels so American. Even the name: Ranch. What a cowboy thing to call it.

[–]uncle-zebiscut 2552 points2553 points  (109 children)

The creator was an American who bought a ranch in California, which he named his brand Hidden Valley Ranch. The salad dressing name is possessive, meaning the dressing of the ‘Ranch’

[–]JudgementalPrick 16.0k points16.0k points  (609 children)

Recommending a brand of medication.

[–][deleted] 6287 points6288 points  (463 children)

Apparently medications are advertised on TV

[–]_wake_woke_ 1525 points1526 points  (76 children)

I’m American and my whole life I’ve never understood it. Like I would never see an ad and go to a doctor like “hey can I have this specific drug”.

I feel like the doctor would immediately assume I was some sort of junkie.

[–]FinancialServe311 7409 points7410 points  (486 children)

“I drove myself to the hospital”

[–]Goblin_Dangle 3206 points3207 points  (410 children)

I rode in an ambulance once when i was 17, it cost me 960 USD. I vowed then if i have have another medical emergency that im calling a limo to take me to the hospital.

[–]Sbenta 1767 points1768 points  (348 children)

Holy fucking shit is it really that bad over there?

[–]kthalis01 1822 points1823 points  (184 children)

That actually sounds kind of low. My father in law paid about 1500usd for his ambulance ride last year. It may be different depending on where you are in the US.

[–]Sbenta 410 points411 points  (151 children)

How can it possibly be that expensive?!

[–]Bwint 745 points746 points  (111 children)

Well, let's see: An EMT can make $17/hr, easy. Let's say there's 4 of them, so call the wages $70 per ride. And then gas would cost several dollars. And the rest is, uh....
You know what, that's a great question. How could it possibly be that expensive??

[–]YOU_WONT_LIKE_IT 135 points136 points  (16 children)

As messed up as it is, this is actually a fairly deep comment. I did this one time with a kidney stone. Doctors asked why? Even kind of yelled at me. My only thought was I just saved $5k. How fucked is that?

[–]aamknz 2812 points2813 points  (359 children)

Whenever I hear 'Meer' instead of "Mirror".

[–]Anaptyso 1020 points1021 points  (190 children)

Also "Creg" instead of "Craig" and "Gram" instead of Graham.

[–]BertUK 875 points876 points  (84 children)

For years I wondered what Gram crackers were until I saw a packet and I was like “they’re saying Graham!?!”

[–]fernshanks 411 points412 points  (16 children)

Oh my god I've only just made this connection

I thought "gram crackers" were a different product to "Graham crackers"

[–]gorka_la_pork 11.9k points11.9k points  (493 children)

Based on my own experience as an American abroad: realizing that other countries don't have doughnut shops open for breakfast, because doughnuts aren't a breakfast food.

[–]OneArchedEyebrow 1866 points1867 points  (49 children)

That was one thing that shocked my (Aussie) husband when he went you he US. Iced donuts available for breakfast?? Although knowing him I’m sure he wouldn’t have hesitated grabbing a few!

[–]devney 1600 points1601 points  (54 children)

Any time I want a donut it always happens to be 9pm and all the donut shops are closed :(

[–]tobydiah 12.7k points12.7k points  (671 children)

European friend: why do you guys drive so much? Such a waste of gas. American: I’m usually not in the mood to spend over an hour to get eggs from the store. European friend: then why don’t you move closer to where everything is? American: Then I won’t have money for those eggs.

[–]Shukrat 7501 points7502 points  (331 children)

The US is not pedestrian friendly

[–]TomasNavarro 3515 points3516 points  (151 children)

Went to America, Orlando, and our hotel was less than a mile to the entrance to Universal.

Easy walk, but there was a stretch of maybe 100m where there was just no sidewalk, so you had to walk on the grass.

Thought it was pretty odd

[–]pyneapplepyro 2167 points2168 points  (86 children)

Not to mention the heat here. So many tourists end up with heat stroke or severe dehydration because we Floridians don't believe in pedestrian friendly shaded walkways.

[–]This_Daydreamer_ 779 points780 points  (102 children)

The closest bus stop to me is about half a mile away and up a steep hill. A bus comes by about once an hour. It would take another hour to get to work. There are no busses on my route on Sundays right now, and i sometimes have t work Sundays. Saturdays, the busses stop running before i start my shift and, again, sometimes i work Saturdays. Riding a bike would be extremely dangerous on my road.

Driving takes about ten minutes, fifteen if traffic is bad and the lights are against me.

[–]TrishIrl 14.2k points14.2k points  (748 children)

School spirit!! I work in an international school with lots of American colleagues. The expectation to be excited about everything is A LOT, but I see why it would be infectious if you were brought up in the states. I do like when the European teachers are all grouped together awkwardly not knowing what to do with the spirit and cheer….

[–]Somebodys 1211 points1212 points  (34 children)

I got pulled aside and talked to during freshmen orientation because I clearly didn't have any desire to be there and get to know the other incoming freshmen. Like yeah, I get it, there are important parts where they give out important information to new students. Except, I was 33 fucking years old. I fully understand what not living at home is like and I'm commuting so I do not give a single solitary fuck about dorm life. I also have no intention whatsoever of making friends with a bunch if 18 year olds.

[–]doublebarreldan123 580 points581 points  (17 children)

As a fellow older student I feel this so hard haha. The only part of the "college experience" I need at this point is my $50,000 dollar piece of paper so I can get a decent job

[–]earther199 2913 points2914 points  (226 children)

I feel this so hard. I’m the only American working for an Irish company and my constant enthusiasm is exhausting for them. Thing is, I’m not even that excited for an American, I’m pretty morose and low key but even that is too much for them.

[–]zuppi_zup 3592 points3593 points 2 (105 children)

Irish person here. Had an American colleague yell "Go Team!" and go for the high five over a decade ago.

I still think about. It was a very awkward exchange.

[–]West_Brom_Til_I_Die 428 points429 points  (11 children)

The most enthusiastic thing my Irish colleague ever said to me was "ah, fairplay to ya."

[–]zuppi_zup 299 points300 points  (8 children)

Jesus, you must have done something mad impressive.

[–]coredumperror 1551 points1552 points  (24 children)

The fact that you still think about this interaction a decade later is hilarious to me! Mostly because I can totally relate to that anecdote. lol

[–]lala6633 801 points802 points  (9 children)

Can you please calm down. Your comment is too enthusiastic for the Irishman.

[–]Perfect_Suggestion_2 1045 points1046 points  (79 children)

YES! American that lived in East Anglia for a couple of years. I was frequently mortified by how overly enthusiastic I was...about just about everything. I also noticed that I force a smile in situations and Brits do not. It was a relief after a while to not smile so much, it's actually kind of stress-inducing to constantly smile. ANd same, I'm pretty low key for an American but in England, I often felt like a Golden Retriever puppy that hadn't learned to sit. LOL

[–]CrazyPlatypusLady 322 points323 points  (2 children)

I often felt like a Golden Retriever puppy that hadn't learned to sit.

And that is how I shall refer to an American family member from now on because... Yes.

Edited because I'm a dumbass who can't type.

[–]whogivesashirtdotca 3653 points3654 points  (239 children)

As an extension of this, varsity sports. I attended the biggest university in Canada and our football stadium and hockey arena were tetchy titchy. Meanwhile, the Americans pack tens of thousands into theirs for every game.

[–]KyleCAV 2112 points2113 points  (29 children)

Excessive usage of bumper stickers

[–]melissaimpaired 3184 points3185 points  (145 children)

Red. Solo. Cups.

Edit: Thanks for the award! For context I’m in 🇨🇦 and we mostly use the clear plastic cups for large outdoor events. (My personal experience)

I grew up watching us movies where if there was a party, everyone would be drinking from red solo cups.


[–]BarcodeZebra 1280 points1281 points  (53 children)

I was in London a few years back and went with some friends to an “American Party”… which was basically just a regular party, but with red solo cups. I was simultaneously amused and disappointed.

[–]winterwolf_forgotten 1972 points1973 points  (76 children)

Starbucks then go to Target...then Home Depot

[–]LolaBunnyHoneyBee 1345 points1346 points  (33 children)

Well most Targets have a Starbucks inside of them so we really only have to make two stops to hit all 3 of those stores.

[–]theunabeefer 1725 points1726 points  (24 children)

"I've been employed for 90 days, so I can finally sign up for insurance."

[–][deleted] 272 points273 points  (4 children)

I was laid off so I packed up my office stuff in a brown cardboard box with a pot plant in it

[–]Nooparooni 3087 points3088 points  (65 children)

I’ve been living in the states for over a decade. I bought my mom this cleaning product that was cinnamon and clove scented and I told her “it smelled like Christmas”. She just looked at me weird and said “wow I guess you really are an American now”

[–]Crivens999 1028 points1029 points  (31 children)

Hang on. I'm from the UK and that sounds Xmas as fuck. Except with more bleach...

[–]LordKyrielight 7537 points7538 points  (398 children)

Checking someone's profile online and finding at least one of the following statements:

  • Their faith.
  • Their race.
  • Their ethnicity.

Also when people talk to an active or retired soldier and start their their conversation with "thanks for your service".

[–]notmyrealname86 2327 points2328 points  (132 children)

Also when people talk to an active or retired soldier and start their their conversation with "thanks for your service".

Ironically, 99% of service members hate that line. Edit: this is referring to current service members, not vets who’ve served, especially Vietnam vets.

[–]Suppafly 987 points988 points  (30 children)

Yep my buddy has one of those jobs that requires driving the big army trucks around to keep them working. He said usually he's standing around trying to kill time or smoke and people come across the parking lot to thank them.

[–]timeboxparadox 4280 points4281 points  (334 children)

Asking about / knowing one's credit score

[–]TheOmnipotentKoi[S] 1407 points1408 points  (109 children)

What’s your credit score, man?

[–]RealApersonn 962 points963 points  (15 children)

While you're at it, how about your credit number? On the card?

[–]BredNower 466 points467 points  (8 children)

By the way, what was the name of your first pet?

[–]360Entertainment 12.9k points12.9k points 22 (507 children)

When I was stationed in Yongsan, South Korea I had to take part in what was known as Town Patrol, basically we wrangled up drunk soldiers who were out past curfew. You could usually tell an American soldier from any of the other folks hanging around. For those that have never been Yongsan is in the middle of Seoul, one of the biggest cities in the world and a melting pot of Culture. Most younger Americans soldiers usually ran around wearing Hoodies with various American Sports teams, kind of a dead give away. It’s even funnier when they try to fake a British accent and don’t know any British slang to go with it.

[–]fearsomemumbler 13.2k points13.2k points 35129& 21 more (248 children)

When me and my mate were travelling around Australia in our early 20’s (both of us are Northern English, with unusual accents) we were trying to woo a couple of delightful ladies (limited success!) that were part of the crew of a US Navy aircraft carrier who were on shore leave whilst visiting Sydney.

They were loading and offloading crew at the Darling Harbour area of Sydney (there was lots of bars there) via tenders. Now there was hundreds of crew milling about as they had a curfew to get back onboard so they were all gathering waiting for the next tender.

At this point the Navy police (I don’t know what the proper name for them is, I’ll call them provosts) started to coral all these young men and women and started to process them onto the tenders. This is when we realised we had accidentally been herded into the pack, so me and my mate decided to make our farewells and disappear into the night for more dirty deeds elsewhere.

We managed to get about ten paces from the herd when we were manhandled to the floor by a group of burly Navy Provosts, who started aggressively demanding we hand over our ID and suggesting we’d been really stupid to blatantly disobey the curfew order, going ashore without ID and being too drunk to speak properly (we weren’t, we just had weird northern English accents).

Well we were both English, hadn’t done a single hour in any military service, and very much not part of the crew of an American aircraft carrier. We were cuffed with zip ties and led to a waiting tender when the officer in charge quickly realised that we were just a pair of drunk Brits looking for some tush in the wrong place at the wrong time and promptly released us.

That is my story of how I was captured by the US Navy!

[–]jcspring2012 4192 points4193 points  (25 children)

This was a great story. If you had let them take you a bit further you probably would have gotten a free helicopter ride back to shore.

[–]OneSalientOversight 1408 points1409 points  (17 children)

Or else a job as a civilian contractor on an aircraft carrier for a few months. That would've been cool.

[–]dardios 744 points745 points  (4 children)

Can confirm... They would have been sent ashore via helicopter. When I was on the Ike we actually left port with a foreign dignitary on board.... Whoops.

[–]impressmesoon 2189 points2190 points 2 (26 children)

My dad has a similar story from when he was in the Marine Corps. His ship was on shore at the same time a British Royal Marine ship was, and somehow he and his buddy got the bright idea to fake an accent and sneak on board to the British ship. They somehow made it below deck faking an accent, acting like wasted Royal Marines coming off leave so that nobody would dare ask them an intelligent enough question to blow their cover. That is until a British officer began checking roll, realizing there were two strangers below deck on their ship. The officer asked “Are you two Royal Marines?” to which my dads buddy responded in his deep southern accent “No sir, we’re real Marines.” Luckily for them, the brits found it hilarious enough for them to avoid any consequences and ended up taking them back out for drinks.

[–]roe_boat 875 points876 points  (10 children)

somehow he and his buddy got the bright idea

Perhaps a smidge of alcohol was involved?

[–]Taolan13 304 points305 points  (0 children)

Wee bit more than a smidge, i'd reckon.

[–]WilltheKing4 191 points192 points  (8 children)

Probably a touch of crayon wax too

[–]soosin1980 383 points384 points  (6 children)

impressment's all fun and games until it happens to you.

[–]RagdollPhysEd 1418 points1419 points  (44 children)

It was revenge for Royal Navy impressment of American sailors. Well the war of 1812 was but still we’re very mad about that to this day

[–]ByTheHammerOfThor 555 points556 points  (21 children)

You joke but I remember learning about impressment in elementary school and being FURIOUS.

[–]alfalfareignss 893 points894 points  (39 children)

The haircuts always give away military men to me. And they travel in tight knit packs too haha

[–]360Entertainment 656 points657 points  (24 children)

We actually had a moment where my supervisor for the night tried to drag in one dude with short hair. I could tell he wasn’t a soldier just by looking at how he was dressed and talked but the supervisor was dead set on trying to question him. He finally provided his iD and while trying to apologize the dude just started making fun of my super visor which thankfully deflated his ego!

[–]SpareRutabaga8416 2862 points2863 points  (313 children)

I ask for ice in every goddamn beverage. I’ve gotten some eyerolls 😬

[–]mrsmedeiros_says_hi 10.9k points10.9k points  (361 children)

As an American I go out of my way to put on my best clothes and a full beat every time I go out, just so I’m not immediately identified as a tourist rube.

Then I remember I’m fat and the jig is up.

[–]MCDexX 2511 points2512 points  (20 children)

This fat Aussie is running interference for you.

[–]Drakmanka 2522 points2523 points  (215 children)

This was one thing I knew intellectually but it never really struck home for me until I was in college. My program (robotics/electronics engineering) had an entire building for itself and so all the faculty had their offices there. There was even a student lounge with a fridge and microwave. We were living it up quite a bit actually.

Anyway, one of my instructors was this darling, sweet, German lady. She always dressed, by American standards, to the nines. She had a great sense of style and always looked fantastic, but it was a bit jarring right at first to see someone always show up to work dressed like she's ready to go to a wedding while the rest of the instructors were in slacks and T-shirts (heck, one of them always showed up in jeans and cowboy boots). Then I realized what American tourists must look like in Germany...

[–]Cako1000 1448 points1449 points 2 (121 children)

I think I'll use my creditcard

[–]SunnyInDecember 2634 points2635 points  (127 children)

Calling women ma'am and men sir in normal conversation.

[–]Willow_Lovegood 268 points269 points  (21 children)

I grew up on the west coast of the US, so didn't really grow up using or hearing sir/ma'am regularly. It was a huge shock when I moved to a southern state right after college and the 18 year old behind the cash register ma'amed me. I was like, do I look wayyy older than I am? Do I look tired? Took me a hot second to realize that's just how people talk here.

[–]Hutchmonton 1376 points1377 points  (73 children)

Wearing clothing with the name of a president/presidential candidate outside of election day.

[–]HamsterCockSock 898 points899 points  (15 children)

Oh, I'm Irish, my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather ate a fucking potato once

[–]teabiscuit_ 28.6k points28.6k points 435 (642 children)

I'm American, but there's a story here that would apply. I moved to Taiwan when I was in middle school. Since my parents were Taiwanese, I grew up speaking mandarin, and it didn't take a long time for me to shake off the American accent when speaking. Initially, people would be like "Oh, an AMERICAN!" when I said literally anything, but gradually, it turned into "Oh? You're American?" And eventually, people stopped even bringing it up.

Then one day, we went to a new doctors' office, to get updates on our vaccines. The doctor was very polite and professional, we chatted a bit, she stuck me with a needle, and started filling out some paperwork... and she asked, "Are you getting these shots because you're returning to America?" ... and i was SHOOK. Hadn't heard that question in years, not from a stranger!

I said, "Aw man, yeah, that's right, I'm getting ready to travel again. What gave me away?"

And she responded, "American's, when you prick them, they say "ow". Taiwanese locals say "ah". That always gives them away."

[–]NearbyBreakfast 3496 points3497 points  (42 children)

What a cool observation. One of my patients used to be a detective and was always the first appointment of the day. One day he said to me “you didn’t swim this morning.” I didn’t recall ever even mentioning I was a swimmer, but he had noticed a very faint pink line across my forehead every time except this one morning, and he was right.

[–]MotM-track9 1981 points1982 points  (25 children)

that is borderline creepy but so so cool to have that ability of observation.

I bet it's impossible for his children to lie to him lol

[–]vee_illustrations 1344 points1345 points  (18 children)

That’s such an interesting story, thanks for sharing. What a perceptive doctor, dang.

[–]inbruges99 893 points894 points  (63 children)

That would be a great detail for a spy movie.

[–]AmateurAstronaut01 7443 points7444 points  (198 children)

I saw someone on r/historymemes say that 1864 (I think) was the worst year in human history because it was the height of the American Civil war. sigh

Edit: dates

[–]SarixInTheHouse 4315 points4316 points  (89 children)

The moment when you casually forget the two times when there was war quite literally everywhere in the world

[–]ilikechillisauce 306 points307 points  (15 children)

When asked where they are from:

Australian: "I'm from Australia" British: "I'm from the UK" Indian: "I'm from India" Chinese: "I'm from China"

American: "I'm from Wisconsin"

[–]Sturmgeschut 874 points875 points  (12 children)

I was wearing sandals at a Norwegian party and one of the other people was like "that's so American".

[–]elusiveoddity 99 points100 points  (5 children)

Funny. I had a Norwegian friend who would only wear sandals, even in the middle of (Australian) winter.

[–]dd68516172c58d63f802 1698 points1699 points  (331 children)

This weird assumption that "The Constitution" is some kind of globally recognized universal charter of legislation. Other countries have their own constitutions, even the developed ones, and they differ from the American one.

Your arguments about "muh constitutional rights" don't hold when you're taking a piss at a bar in Norway.

[–]mymotherisacanibal 24.1k points24.1k points 2 (1126 children)

Usually when someone says "y'all"

[–]251Cane 9413 points9414 points 2 (583 children)

How about “all y’all”?

Edit: this is hilarious. I’m just now getting back to my phone for the first time since I made this comment earlier. Didn’t expect all these comments.

[–]Seagrove 8815 points8816 points  (468 children)

Y’all refers to those you are addressing while all y’all includes everyone in earshot

[–]redditshy 5010 points5011 points  (309 children)

And when you are pissed.

[–]RunnyPlease 8913 points8914 points 72& 13 more (203 children)

Level 1. Ya need Jesus.

Level 2. Y’all need Jesus.

Level 3. All y’all need Jesus.

[–]dantheman0991 1563 points1564 points  (90 children)

My roommate is a Texan, and he uses both contexts in regular conversation. It's hilarious. I've of the most frequent things he says is "y'all're fucking dumb", usually in response to memes sent from across the room

[–]buttspigot 1235 points1236 points  (59 children)

Can confirm,

“y’all’re fuckin dumb” is as Texas as it gets.

Edit: Thanks for the gold!

[–]beetsnturtles 2835 points2836 points  (323 children)

When you are on a trip and ask someone where they are from, they usually answer with their country first. "I'm from France", "I'm from Colombia", etc.

If someone answers with something weirdly specific like "I'm from [place] in the [area] County, close to [town]"... They are from the US. Bonus 'Merica if the fella gets a bit offended you don't know where their town is.

[–]philwrites 452 points453 points  (22 children)

There’s a show here in Japan where they ask people at the airport where they are from (yes the show is blatantly racist). 99% of Americans answer their state/city. I always laugh because the subtitles just say ‘I’m american’.

[–]szanda 4093 points4094 points  (623 children)

"I'm driving a manual"

[–]MauveSweaterVest 1671 points1672 points  (0 children)

“Driving stick”

[–]sofascientist 2424 points2425 points  (357 children)

As an American, when I first heard from my friends across the pond that most cars weren't automatic transmission, I was very surprised.

Here of course it's a mix, but I'd estimate 95% of cars have automatic transmissions.

It does mean that a car with a manual transmission is less likely to be stolen, though, because most people here have no idea how to drive one!

[–]wfaulk 403 points404 points  (58 children)

I'd estimate 95% of cars have automatic transmissions.

I bought a new car (in the US) about a year and a half ago. I wanted a vaguely upscale sedan with a manual transmission. The closest thing I could find was a VW Jetta. Everything else, if you had anything but the cheapest possible options, wasn't available as a manual.

BMW no longer sold a manual sedan in the US. (Edit: Since then, they reintroduced the M3 in manual, not that I could have afforded that.)

[–]lapras25 7355 points7356 points  (368 children)

Any comment about 1- hospital bills, or 2- gun rights / gun ownership. Also, 3- Fahrenheit.

[–]ForgottenForce 1536 points1537 points  (241 children)

What about feet and inches?

[–]FromDwight 1729 points1730 points  (174 children)

Canada uses feet and inches for people's heights, but kilometers for distance. We're kinda a hybrid between the US and European systems which can be very strange for people who didn't grow up here.

[–]missvvvv 6428 points6429 points  (383 children)

Asking, on Reddit, where to buy something but not indicating what country they’re from.

E: Doing this screams they are from the USA

E2: Apparently some people are becoming offended by this answer.

The question is ‘What’s something someone can say that indirectly screams “I’m an American”?’

This comment is my answer to that question. Not a complaint, an observation and response 🤷‍♀️

[–]DStanley1809 1012 points1013 points  (43 children)

Related but the opposite. Assuming everyone else is in America and giving American advice.

I've noticed it particularly in the DIYUK subreddit. It's in the name of the sub - UK.

You still find Americans telling people to go to their local America-only shops to find products with American names (drywall, spackle etc. All my walls are dry thank you very much and WTF is spackle?) and to make sure they do their work to fit in with the "code" from where they live in America.

It drives some people mad and every so often someone puts a post up basically telling the Americans to go away and stop giving American advice in a UK subreddit lol.

[–]are_you_nucking_futs 136 points137 points  (1 child)

They do it a lot in the askuk sub, which is specifically a sub to ask brits questions.

[–]doubtchocula 743 points744 points  (31 children)

“I need to postpone my surgery because money is tight right now.”

[–]AlleywayGum 17.1k points17.1k points  (1573 children)

Using ma'am, miss and sir.

Non of my customers use it except Americans.

Edit: Wow thanks for the upvotes, I totally do not deserve it 😘

[–]A_Hale 2433 points2434 points  (178 children)

You must’ve never been to the comment section on Indian English YouTube videos.

[–]21Rollie 1903 points1904 points  (151 children)

I work as a programmer and even in their code comments they’re all diligently formal. I can tell a comment or error message was written by an Indian if an instruction starts with the word “kindly.”

[–]Kiwifrooots 1073 points1074 points  (109 children)

Indians seem to use "do the needful" for do what is needed /required too

[–]Camp_Express 810 points811 points  (42 children)

“Kindly do the needful” is one I see three times a day on average

[–]ghostdunks 129 points130 points  (12 children)

It was working with a lot of Indian developers where I learned the term “prepone”. As in the opposite of postponing a meeting, you could also prepone a meeting.

[–]superjerk69420 740 points741 points  (16 children)

I once had a boss (from india) send his instructions & then a pic of Palpatine with the caption “do what must be done. Do not hesitate, show no mercy.” That dude was so based

[–]JayNotAtAll 10.3k points10.3k points  (845 children)

Years ago I was doing work in Germany. I was on the call with a client and I answered "yes sir, no sir" the whole time. He was like "were you ever in the US military?" I was like "no, I was just always taught to say that".

Didn't realize how American it is

EDIT: for clarification, I am from Texas

[–]PlayMp1 5347 points5348 points  (754 children)

Only some Americans. I notice it with Southerners a lot. I never use "sir" and "ma'am."

[–]TheOmnipotentKoi[S] 677 points678 points  (160 children)

How receptive are you toward the titles?

[–]AlleywayGum 1712 points1713 points  (114 children)

My people are painfully informal.

The president could walk through the door and we'd just go, oh hello there.

Then Americans come and are all like yes ma'am, thank you miss, yes sir and we think we are royalty 😆

[–]nothinga3 268 points269 points  (4 children)

On Canada day Americans like to come north either to visit friends/family or to party. You can always tell who the Americans are by how much of their clothing is covered in maple leaves. The more articals of clothing the more likely they are to be American.

[–]pewzapdie 15.3k points15.3k points 62 (1018 children)

“I’m 1/3 Irish on my mother’s side”

[–]seefroo 7374 points7375 points  (546 children)

I work in a hotel in the UK and two Americans checked in a couple of weeks ago. We legally have to ask for their passport details - we don’t even (as far as I know) have to check the passport or photocopy it, just ask them to fill in their nationality and passport number. To be honest the law is a relic of the Cold War but we’re still meant to do it so we do.

Under “Passport Details - Nationality” one of them wrote Irish-German

[–]Drakmanka 1681 points1682 points  (163 children)

My mom legitimately got angry once shortly after she got her Ancestry DNA test results back when her only option on a form for Ethnicity was White. She apparently wanted to put down "Celtic" something fierce. Even though that's only 30% of her ethnicity according to her DNA test. She's just super attached to the idea that she has Scottish ancestors.

[–]maniaxuk 2009 points2010 points  (41 children)

Upset her even more by telling her Celtic doesn't automatically mean Scottish

[–]untimelythroway 2678 points2679 points  (212 children)

Part of the issue is how we confuse the terms "ethnicity" with "nationality"

I am ethnically Latino or Hispanic

my nationality is 100% USA (american)

[–]OppositeYouth 3546 points3547 points  (8 children)

I want to downvote you just for what they wrote.

[–]fiddledeedeep0tat0es 269 points270 points  (15 children)

When they say everyone else has an accent and they do not.

[–]satinaboupoupou 6041 points6042 points  (512 children)

A conversation about tipping...

A tip is appreciated in the rest of the world, but people in the hospitallity industry here (Europe and specifically The Netherlands) make a decent living while serving you a meal or coffee. Decent enough not to be dependent on tips.

[–]whitegurlluvparis 5029 points5030 points  (242 children)

A tip in my country means you went above and beyond and are being recognised for the best service the customer has ever had. A tip in the US means you’re not an asshole.

[–]IAmGodMode 190 points191 points  (3 children)

I tipped a street performer in Korea and then he stopped performing and threw the money back at me. Apparently it's disrespectful to tip there because it means you're better than them.

[–]MichielK2 12.8k points12.8k points  (209 children)

Debating about who is a better president candidate in a YouTube comment section, while the video isn't even political

[–]akash13anand 314 points315 points  (16 children)

When they’re seeking help on Reddit and their country/region is a required piece of information for the particular question, they usually don’t specify that they live in America. They just assume everyone else in the sub is American. I think I’ve never seen any individual from any other nationality do that.

[–]iSeize 317 points318 points  (11 children)

American flag clothes.

[–]NothingMovesTheBlob 9296 points9297 points  (1050 children)

The way American tourists dress is instantly identifiable. Baseball caps, sunglasses, a gigantic backpack filled with everything under the sun, water bottle - they dress like they're going on a hike for a city holiday.

[–]Panama-_-Jack 4277 points4278 points  (78 children)

Look, we just want to be prepared, because we're not going back until we've done everything!

[–]ImAlwaysRightHanded 1139 points1140 points  (57 children)

Eagle Scout checking in, there’s nothing I didn’t pack for.

[–]drunk_haile_selassie 1937 points1938 points  (71 children)

American men also seem to wear shorts that are two sizes too big. Australianmen, on the other hand, tend to wear shorts that are two sizes too small.

[–]HerniatedHernia 1774 points1775 points 2 (23 children)

Mate, if your balls aren’t flopping out when you sit then they aren’t shorts.

[–]the-zoidberg 2288 points2289 points  (16 children)

I am currently wearing a baseball cap and own a gigantic backpack. hello.

[–]fastinserter 1799 points1800 points  (100 children)

Jesus we are going for a hike on a city holiday. We drive everywhere here in the states, we just leave that stuff in the car which we parked directly in front of our destination.

[–]BefWithAnF 1304 points1305 points  (79 children)

I live in an American city (NYC), and I also carry a backpack wherever I go- wallet, medication, book to read on the subway, lunch if I’m going to work… where am I supposed to keep that, my butthole?

[–]surgebinder16 479 points480 points  (47 children)

fucking lol. i vibe so hard with keeping all my shit in my backpack. sunscreen, water bottle, chapstick, snacks, meds, sunglasses… swimming trunks. like it’s just so damn useful

[–]llamapalooza22 1366 points1367 points  (235 children)

Is it only an American thing to bring water with you places? I take my water bottle with me to most places, but if I didn't I wouldn't have anything to drink and would have to constantly buy water bottles. Do people from other countries not bring water to work or school or other places?

(This is a genuine question.)

[–]mr_trashcan 243 points244 points  (2 children)

Guess you're supposed to stop at a cafe or something? I don't know. Canadian here, and in retrospect maybe I have visited too many places wearing a daypack.