Top complaint of 2024

“ I can’t stand Lady Heather Kessler from “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.” If she were broke she’d rightfully be in prison for torture. And surely with his intelligence and handsomeness the charming Gil Grissom could find a friend that isn’t comically evil. — Jess Sinclair, North Yorkshire, England”

No way that storyline is even later than 2004. And I love Lady Heather. Jess needs to learn a little more about safe sane and consensual kink!
posted by obfuscation at 2:08 PM on December 18

I got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're gonna hear about it.
posted by tclark at 2:10 PM on December 18 [2 favorites]

Boy that person has had that Rise of Skywalker hot take in the chamber for 5 years
posted by rhymedirective at 2:23 PM on December 18 [3 favorites]

"I sneezed downtown and a little guy in a high visibility vest charged me $5 for sneezing and an $8 convenience fee. I had to provide my own tissue? — Joshua W., St. Petersburg"

what

is this the Florida version of the "I bet I can tell you where you got dem shoes" trick?

("on my feet, on the sidewalk", if you ever visit New Orleans.)
posted by egypturnash at 2:24 PM on December 18 [4 favorites]

"My closest Taco Bell closed for several weeks for renovations. Nobody is going to Taco Bell for the scenery or atmosphere. Serve me tacos from the back of an old van. I don’t care. Just don’t close for weeks at a time."

Before I respond to this one, I'm going to need to know how much further the second-closest Taco Bell is.
posted by box at 2:27 PM on December 18 [1 favorite]

I totally agree with the no-live-action-versions rant. Turning adorable animated creatures into CGI is not an improvement.

Cannot stand the pretentious spelling of Timothée. Gag me.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:35 PM on December 18 [1 favorite]

if you know Florida you know this is a near-perfect The Villages gripe, which means it can't possibly be legit but I'm going to pretend it is anyway:

"They don’t sell only one sock in stores. I’m only short one sock. Why am I forced to buy two." — Milton, The Villages
posted by martin q blank at 2:44 PM on December 18 [3 favorites]

This one cracked me up: "Since when are band books such a problem, and who wants to read a band book anyway? What happened to just listening to the radio, or watching them march during halftime? — Bill Thompson, St. Pete Beach"
posted by mareli at 2:46 PM on December 18 [1 favorite]

We don't have an updated complaint choir.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 2:47 PM on December 18 [1 favorite]

y'all have aldi in the states?
posted by busted_crayons at 2:51 PM on December 18

"And another thing--I keep submitting ideas to Pluggers, but they never use any of them!"
posted by box at 2:52 PM on December 18

We have Aldi and Lidl! I think it's Lidl Sud.
posted by Snowishberlin at 3:01 PM on December 18 [1 favorite]

I love this! It reminds me of Focus on Scugog, a small magazine printed in my in-laws' small Ontario town. They have a Thumbs Up and Thumbs Down column every issue and I delight reading the Thumbs Down (usually involving litter and/or Kids Today) aloud. These remind me of that!
posted by Kitteh at 3:15 PM on December 18

My personal faves:

The youth of today’s lingo: skibidi, Ohio, rizz, mid. Like, what?! No one knows what it means, but it’s not provocative, it doesn’t get the people going. —> From Tayler R. Is Tayler too young or too old to get the lingo? Has to be too young right? Tayler is 7.

The overuse by the media of “crisis.” A problem that can be corrected by the actions of intelligent people is not a crisis.

Why does every bar have to have a theme now? Can’t the theme just be getting drunk? — Rebecca Liebson, Tampa Bay Times reporter
posted by The_Vegetables at 3:16 PM on December 18

I’m sick of shorter and shorter seasons of shows. I demand every show have a minimum of 10 episodes per season. — Abby K., St. Petersburg

You tell 'em, Abby K.!
posted by oc-to-po-des at 3:37 PM on December 18

The one about the Tampa Bay Times app is a pretty sick burn.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 3:38 PM on December 18

Andy Rooney looks down upon Tampa and smiles
posted by good in a vacuum at 4:21 PM on December 18

My favorite:
I remember when pickup trucks used to haul things other than a person’s entire political identity. Now it’s a parade float with flags and bumper stickers. Trucks don’t have to be political, people! I just want help moving from someone who’s not going to talk all day about pronoun jokes and the benefits of tariffs. — James Hollingsworth, Land O’ Lakes

Also kind of interesting to see the number of complaints about things related to Helene, like debris still not picked up, elevators still not working, and house prices unchanged.
posted by maggiemaggie at 4:22 PM on December 18 [2 favorites]

Dear Tampa Bay Times, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am NOT a crackpot.
posted by downtohisturtles at 4:27 PM on December 18 [1 favorite]

Before the team was formed, I attended a focus group about naming our new women’s soccer team. Those associated with the team claimed they wanted a name that represented something unique about Tampa Bay. So they settled on The Sun? The sun is everywhere! — Jerome Wireman, Largo

The Tampa Bay Sun is a fine name for a sport's team, or a newspaper. But it is also incredibly generic.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 4:31 PM on December 18

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