So, actual Germans and Austrians, what, if any, North American restaurants/ beer houses actually have an atmosphere of authenticity, rather than kitsch? I've often considered Speisekammer in Alameda CA and Teske's in San Jose CA to be the places to go, but my last visit to Germany was when I was seven, so I don't know how they hold up.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 1:25 AM on August 30 [1 favorite]

So sort of a German Solvang?
posted by mbo at 1:43 AM on August 30 [4 favorites]

reminds me of Helen
posted by HearHere at 1:51 AM on August 30 [3 favorites]

it does feel quintessentially German to end the piece with "well, if the Americans are enjoying it, does it even really matter"
posted by Merus at 1:55 AM on August 30 [7 favorites]

I wonder how Leavenworth compares to Frankenmuth, Michigan. Leavenworth does not appear to have dueling fried chicken mega restaurants across the street from each other, and surely its Christmas shop can’t hold a candle to Bronner’s CHRISTmas Wonderland, which claims to be the world’s largest.

The chicken really is excellent.
posted by Well I never at 2:22 AM on August 30 [2 favorites]

I visited Leavenworth exactly once in the 13 years I lived in Seattle. It was exactly the sort of cheesy, tacky tourist trap you would expect. I don’t know why any locals bother with it.
posted by Fleebnork at 3:26 AM on August 30 [1 favorite]

So sort of a German Solvang?

Every time I am reminded of this place, it gives me further shivers. Some kind of uncanny valley effect maybe?
posted by Dysk at 3:27 AM on August 30 [1 favorite]

If I recall correctly there is a Neal Stephenson novel when one of his characters does a drive that would have taken him through Leavenworth. Having been to Leavenworth myself I am confident that Stephenson did not personally research the drive, because if he had, he would have seen Leavenworth and would, I have no doubt, inserted a six-page digression describing the place.
posted by Major Clanger at 4:22 AM on August 30 [13 favorites]

I've been to Leavenworth many times. It's fun, and there should be more fun in the world. :-)

As to why locals bother with it, the Nicht-Echt-Deutsch-Industrial-Complex is the town's economic driver, or was the last time I checked. You can go less-touristy places there, but the schtick is ubiquitous by design, down to "Bavarian"-looking Safeway. Wherever you go, "da du bist." In theory, Wenatchee is only a half-hour away, but weather exists, and it is a mountain town.
posted by cupcakeninja at 5:19 AM on August 30 [4 favorites]

(That's not to imply that Wenatchee is only a theoretical construct.)
posted by cupcakeninja at 5:31 AM on August 30 [3 favorites]

I grew up near Leavenworth! We spent a lot of time there. My sister and I were very convinced that Santa lived there. But also there are some excellent (not German) restaurants, a couple very nice hotels, and really stunning outdoors opportunities for hiking, skiing, kayaking, etc. The kitsch is undeniable but the hikes are beautiful.
posted by skookumsaurus rex at 5:32 AM on August 30 [5 favorites]

I don't know why any locals bother with it.

As a kid we would go through Leavenworth to go hiking and stop for pretzels or ice cream on the way back.
posted by heyforfour at 5:54 AM on August 30 [2 favorites]

I would like The Germans to also review the one of these we have in Lancaster, PA
posted by jrishel at 5:59 AM on August 30 [5 favorites]

Economics is a strong driver. When logging fell off they needed something to keep money coming in, and it's working to an extent. I don't know the numbers, but by the eyeball test folks in the town seem to be doing better than a lot of similar sized places around the region.

Octoberfest and Xmas crowds are nuts, and as noted the location is excellent for access to a ton of outdoor activities. We would stay there, or camp nearby, on rock climbing trips when I was in high school. These days we'll go over for an extended weekend every couple years or so with friends. Those that ski will head up to Stevens Pass, those that don't will go hiking, snow shoeing, or x-country. Then there's a nice selection of places to eat or have a drink on the nights we decide to go out. The kitsch kind of falls away and is really dominated by the natural beauty.
posted by calamari kid at 6:13 AM on August 30 [3 favorites]

I live in a town with an enormous Oktoberfest celebration (lots of Germans settled in this area but especially Southern Germans) tho we don't have a "German village" as such. As that original population has dwindled or become assimilated the event moves further and further from the original culture and reasons for Oktoberfest. So years ago we invited a German friend to come and visit us when the celebrations were on. The shitty beer, the sauerkraut wrestling, the fake lederhosen... he was aghast but also bemused. He later suggested to us that it was such an alien and bizarre out of context event that it was like if we came to Germany for a "Mounties and Maple Syrup Festival." At the time I suggested that it might be more like going to Germany for one of the Indianer events and he just rolled his eyes.
posted by Ashwagandha at 6:37 AM on August 30 [4 favorites]

reminds me of Helen

@HearHere -- having been to both, I can tell you they are effectively the same.
posted by Pedantzilla at 6:46 AM on August 30

There is, or at least was thirty years ago when I was a kid, a German community in rural Washington large enough to get lost in and so not a tourist thing that they only spoke to lost people in their particular dialect.

Which, due to being a particular kind of physicist in the 1960s, my dad could still be just comprehensibly polite in, so they directed us to the short way out.
posted by clew at 7:33 AM on August 30 [2 favorites]

sometimes when I close my eyes I can still see the negative color image of gigantic exploding tulips on the drapes in my hotel room in Solvang....shudder, reaches for gin
posted by winesong at 7:50 AM on August 30

I visited Leavenworth exactly once in the 13 years I lived in Seattle. It was exactly the sort of cheesy, tacky tourist trap you would expect. I don’t know why any locals bother with it.


Like others have mentioned, the area Leavenworth is in is beautiful, and because it's a tourist spot, there are a lot of fairly cheap hotels that are a great jumping off point for hikes, kayaking, skiing and sledding, etc. On the way western side of Washington, Forks is the same way. In the height of Twilight popularity, some air bnbs and other lodging options popped up, making it easy to get into the Hoh and Quinault around there.

But for Leavenworth specifically, it's also the only place you can get an olde timey photo even close to Seattle.
posted by Ideal Impulse at 7:55 AM on August 30

So sort of a German Solvang?
I've been to both towns, and yes.

I enjoy this sort of tourist kitsch, actually, so I thought it was fun.

I cracked up at the Krampus Kave. It's also kind of hilarious that they had to travel here to read the history of ornaments.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:04 AM on August 30

My eye picked out only "Leavenworth" and I was like, Jesus Christ, I hope it's not like Bavaria!
posted by praemunire at 8:11 AM on August 30

I, too, thought of Helen, Georgia. Maybe we can find out what some actual Mexicans think of South of the Border next!
posted by TedW at 8:17 AM on August 30 [3 favorites]

Haven't read the article yet, but: I went through there once on the way to camping at Lake Wenatchee. The incessant Bavarian motif, especially on things like national chains that usually sport their own well-known logos/designs, was kind of amusing. But although the big mountains in the background helped provide a convincing context, to me it felt like aggressively Bavarian-styled American buildings laid out like a typical American town...it looked exactly like the tacky marketing gambit it is.

Once I got past that, though, the camping was nice.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:09 AM on August 30 [1 favorite]

After reading the article: Yep, about what I expected.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:15 AM on August 30 [1 favorite]

"the American imagination demands the real thing and, to attain it, must fabricate the absolute fake"
~ Umberto Eco

As a Washington resident I have been to Levenworth several times. The area around it has a lot of great outdoor experiences - tubing on Icicle creek, hiking, cross country skiing in winter, the Sleeping Lady resort right outside of town is lovely.
posted by brookeb at 9:15 AM on August 30 [4 favorites]

Well that was a fun read.
posted by Aardvark Cheeselog at 9:26 AM on August 30

Next we have to send Americans to the Polish July 4th LARP.
posted by novalis_dt at 9:59 AM on August 30

Maaaaan, fuck you, Eco.
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 10:24 AM on August 30

more like going to Germany for one of the Indianer events and he just rolled his eyes.

I was accidentally adjacent to one of those (not that specific one, a more camping-focused thing in the woods across the road from where I was staying) and it was ... reasonably problematic, and very confusing as I'd not been aware of the concept beforehand.

So, so, so many inappropriate headdresses.

I mean, there's cosplay, and then there's ... whatever that thing was.
posted by aramaic at 10:49 AM on August 30

We have something like this here in Missouri, but it is more like a place where actual German immigrants settled and built an actual village that they actually used to live in, than a later adopted identity.

Photos: 1 2 3

It looks a lot more like an actual German village simply because it was a village built by Germans in a location selected because it was similar in a lot of ways to some of the places they had left behind in Germany. But it's not completely so because it's in a different place with different materials and practices etc.

It is a wine region now and thus definitely touristy in that way, but they're not really pretending to be a German village so much as actually being a German immigrant community.

Few comparison points from Germany & Austria just for your entertainment: 1 2 3
posted by flug at 12:34 PM on August 30

One of my good friends lives in Leavenworth, and I have had the misfortune to stay in a place I dubbed "the jesus rooms" on one road trip that passed through there. It's a cute-enough place, though as a "destination" just to gawk at the faux bavarian stuff I can't see it.

More surprising to me was on a road trip to Bryce we ended up going through a similar town on the outskirts of Salt Lake City...cannot remember the name at all. Anyone? As odd as it is to find such a town in the cascades, it was really odd to find one in the great basin desert.
posted by maxwelton at 2:52 PM on August 30

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