Remember those feel-good movie characters from the aughts who'd one day find a troubled family and teach them how to love again? Well, none of them were available, so I'll have to do.

That's right, I've gathered some of the wildest family drama from across Reddit, and now you're invited to my virtual BBQ to hear it all. From failed family vacations to parents knowing when to cut the leash, I'm still here to ruin everyone's Thanksgiving, even if we're in August.

I don't think I'm being a wasteful bathroom hog here

My partner lost their cool over how long I'd been in the shower. I am a female with long, thick hair, and I was doing what some refer to as a full-body shower—washing and conditioning my hair, shaving, washing my body, and washing my face. Then I got out. My partner said they were running the sink for as long as I was in the shower and asked if I noticed how much water was wasted. I asked how I'd be able to hear that while I was in the shower. "Exactly," they replied, followed by other comments. I added the songs I listened to while in the shower to their own playlist, which totaled 26 minutes.

Am I the asshole for taking 26 minutes to "full-body" shower?

ETA: There are two of us in the home, we have two full bathrooms, he showered last night, and I showered this morning. We had no plans for the day. I take this length shower once every three to four days. I don't shower every day because I work from home, but if I do, I'm under 10 minutes, with my body washed and hair shampooed for a regular wash.

It's wild how much time cleaning hair can add to your total shower time, no matter how efficient you are. I bet the partner maybe has less than an inch of hair on top, so they just rub their head under the water and call it a day. The only reasonable solution I can think of is no haircuts, for at least a decade. We should choose violence on this one. Read the rest of the thread here.

Is my star TikTok cat actually harmful to small children?

So, I (F24) have a cat named Mr. Whiskers, and he’s basically a TikTok celebrity. He has his own account with a solid following because he’s a natural entertainer. I post videos of him doing tricks, wearing silly costumes, and just being his usual diva self. It’s all in good fun, and people seem to love it.

Recently, my sister (F28) asked me to babysit my 5-year-old niece, Lily, for the weekend. I love spending time with her, so I happily agreed. Everything was going fine until Lily started asking if Mr. Whiskers could teach her how to dance like he does on TikTok. I thought it was adorable, so I showed her some of his videos, and we spent the afternoon trying to copy his moves. She was laughing and having the best time, and I didn’t think anything of it.

When my sister came to pick Lily up, she noticed that Lily was obsessed with Mr. Whiskers. She kept asking if they could make their own TikToks together and talking about how she wanted a cat just like him. My sister asked what we did all weekend, and I casually mentioned that we spent a lot of time making TikToks with the cat. She got really quiet and then suddenly flipped out, accusing me of “corrupting” Lily by exposing her to “superficial internet fame” and setting a bad example by making a cat the center of attention. She said I was encouraging Lily to prioritize social media over real-life experiences, and now Lily won’t stop asking for a cat and a TikTok account.

I tried to explain that it was all just harmless fun and that Lily was just excited, but my sister was not having it. She told me I was irresponsible and that she doesn’t want Lily exposed to this “influencer lifestyle” at such a young age. Now she’s mad at me and says she won’t let me babysit anymore unless I promise to keep Mr. Whiskers and his TikTok fame out of it.

Am I the asshole for refusing to babysit my niece after my sister accused me of corrupting her with my cat’s TikTok fame?

I'm with the mom — I think Mr. Whiskers is up to something, and he's going to kidnap that poor little girl for his traveling circus. She'll be on a trapeze, looking down, thinking, "If only Joel from Digg had warned my mother." So I'm not falling for it Mr. Whiskers. Low-key, though, I think the mom's probably just annoyed that she's had to talk about TikTok and cats all day now. Read the rest of the thread here.

A social media trend is dividing our fridge, and my marriage

Recently, my wife has taken to "fridgescaping." I guess it's a recent trend because I'd never heard about it before this. She started decorating our fridge, and it was really getting on my nerves. For example, she put flowers in the fridge, in vases, in front of food, so you have to move things just to get to the food. She put all our food in fancy baskets, jars, and similar containers. I know it sounds absurd, but if you just search "fridgescaping," you’ll see what I’m talking about.

I didn’t care at first because I don’t have to use the fridge much anyway—I don’t cook a lot. But she’s getting too meticulous with it and adding too much decor. It’s made the fridge very uninviting for me. She gets upset when I get something from the fridge and don’t put things back perfectly. She keeps taking it as a personal slight and acts like I’ve done something to deliberately hurt her, when I haven’t—I just find it unnecessary to maintain such an organized fridge. Before she started this, it would take me 30 seconds to grab something quick from the fridge; now it’s a whole ordeal.

Last weekend, she confronted me after I grabbed some leftovers from the fridge and left it in “disarray,” according to her. I explained how I find the hobby stupid and suggested she could decorate other things—it doesn’t have to be the fridge. It gets in the way when I want to quickly eat. When I come home from work hungry and tired and want to grab a quick bite, it’s frustrating. I also talked to my son about it, and he finds it annoying, which I told her. She didn’t argue back after that, and she’s removed all of the decorations from the fridge, which I have to admit has been relieving. But she’s also been acting very distant toward me and hasn’t been herself, especially with intimacy.

Am I the asshole for this?

Most people's fridges smell like they're making yogurt, because they never clean them out — I'm not really seeing a problem here. I think they should just get a second fridge to store the frozen junk food and sodas she probably doesn't want in there anyway. One day, she'll snap out of it and go back to never throwing away that one Tupperware in the back, like the rest of us. Read the rest of the thread here.

Read the previous edition here.

[Image credit: Sora Shimazaki]