There are too many excellent advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists addressed in recent days.

Do I Have To Send A Thank-You Note To The Woman Who Hit My Son With A Car?

A month ago, my 7-year-old son was struck by a vehicle while riding his bike in a crosswalk. He's fine now. His injuries were minor, although it was frightening. Police and paramedics responded quickly, and I took my son to the hospital to have him fully checked.

Later that day, a police officer came by our house with a new bike for our son, purchased by the driver of the vehicle. He gave us a paper with the driver's insurance information and said something to the effect of, "Her address is on there too, if you want to thank her for the new bike. That was really nice of them." I was shocked that he would say that.

I guess it was a nice gesture, but she hit my son with a car! The driver admitted to having been distracted. At the scene, she said she thought she had hit a dog. I could go on, but suffice it to say the driver was 100% at fault.

I put the new bike away in the garage. My son saw it there and wanted to ride it. I held out until our insurance claim was accepted, and we went for a ride today. The new bike is not as good as his old one, but he was excited about it because it is a different color. I'm so grateful that he is doing well and isn't afraid of biking again. My question is, do I have to write that thank-you note? If so, can you please give me the words?

[UExpress]

“I can think of a few choice words, but no rule of etiquette demands you thank the woman for the bicycle that was destroyed because of her inattentiveness,” replies Abigail Van Buren. That’s the entirety of her answer, but read the rest of her column.

How Can I Get My Boyfriend To Leave Parties When The Hosts Start Signaling That They Want Us To Leave?

My boyfriend is that guest who will not leave. When he’s having a good time, he will refuse to acknowledge social cues that the hosts would like us to go, to the point where it is incredibly rude.

We were over at some friends’ house last Saturday and the couple cooked us a delicious meal. Afterward, we were finishing up the wine and chatting. I saw the wife yawning and said we should be going, but my boyfriend kept saying, “Oh, no, we can’t break up the party this soon.” Then the husband pointedly said they had to get up early the next day. I got it and again tried to leave, but my boyfriend didn’t budge, so the husband said it again. I’m cringing and nudging my boyfriend, who is chatting away and ignoring me until they stood up and started packing the food away and putting the dishes in the dishwasher. I said good night and made a rush for the door with my boyfriend reluctantly following. Later, he asked me what the problem was.

This is the only socially inept thing he does, but he does it so much that people joke about it behind his back. At a party, I heard someone asking the host couple if they had a plan for getting rid of my boyfriend before midnight. He’s convinced it’s all me, I’m too introverted and always want to break up the party too soon.

I’m thinking of starting to say to him, “They want us to leave now, so we have to go,” while encouraging the hosts to be blunt with him. Is this something you think I can pull off?

[The Washington Post]

Carolyn Hax offers the letter writer a couple of scripts for telling the boyfriend that the hosts want them to leave. “[Y]ou two are still just dating, and you already find a significant trait in each other Really Irritating,” she writes. “If he doesn’t mature out of that soon, then that spells misery for you on more than this ‘one thing.’” Read the rest of her answer.

What Should I Do After My Sister Called Me An Epithet For Putting A Lock On My Bedroom Door To Protect My Stuff From Her Kids?

I agreed to move in with my sister and her three kids if I could have the room with the private bath. There are two in the house but it has four bedrooms. I work remotely and had just gotten out of a bad relationship, while my sister was struggling to keep the lights on. The problem is, her kids refuse to respect my space. They think of nothing of barging in while I am working to complain they are bored or hungry or can’t find their charger or they want to use my bathroom. Or worse when I am not there. They are 13, 11, and 10. Old enough to understand privacy and boundaries (the oldest will scream if you ever go put a toe in their room). They just don’t care and my sister doesn’t care enough to reinforce it. It is a constant fight.

I am paying half the bills and helping out with the pickups and drop-offs because her ex is a deadbeat. I finally lost my shit when I came home to find that one of the kids shit in the toilet and didn’t flush and one of my expensive perfumes had gone missing. One of my nieces decided to use a $600 perfume to spritz up her room. I went to the hardware store and got a lock and key and put it on the door. My sister is upset with me and accused me of overreacting and then had to the gall to accuse me of “wasting” money on “frivolous vanities.” It is my damn money and I have been collecting perfumes since I was small. I told my sister the lock stays and the kids stay out of my space or I leave. She called me a bitch, and I retorted I am the bitch paying the bills here. It is basically a cold war now. My sister is barely civil and the kids are picking up on the tension. I love my sister and her kids, but the only reason I agreed to move in was because they needed help — and I would have my own, private space. I am regretting even offering in the first place.

[Slate]

Ashley C. Ford advises the letter writer to talk to their sister about finding a new home. “Your sister’s refusal to express to her children your need for space and privacy is egregious and I’m sorry that you’ve been so poorly considered,” she writes. Read the rest of her answer.

How Should I Deal With My Daughter’s Negativity Over Some Uncharacteristically Bad Decisions I Made Over The Last 16 Years?

I am so sad. My youngest daughter, E (29), is very much estranged from me but requires me to see her a few times during the year. This causes me much distress, but I want to remain present when she wants me to be there. The issue I am having is that she always throws me an offhand comment that has double meanings during these times. Her words hurt me very much. Up until yesterday, I have mostly not acknowledged them. But she stated, “I basically raised myself from 13 on.” I have recently realized that I had made some bad and uncharacteristic decisions from her thirteenth year up to about six months ago. I have had some great revelations in therapy and feel very grounded and future-focused. She’s in therapy too, and I know I am the reason for that.

But she does not want to forgive me. She wants to continue to punish me. I can learn to sit there and take it, allowing her to “get it off her chest,” but how do I deal with the dread that she will not come around and begin to let our relationship to heal? This makes me sadder than anything I ever felt before. I have her in my life in a primarily negative way. This last pushback by me (basically agreeing that I was not the mom she deserved) was not met well. What now?

[Slate]

Jamilah Lemieux rules that it’s unreasonable for the letter writer to expect the daughter’s forgiveness so soon. “You say that you engaged in negative behavior that harmed your daughter over half of her life, up to as recently as six months ago,” she writes. “She is still coming to terms with what your actions meant and how they’ve impacted her, and she’ll be doing that work for years.” Read the rest of her answer.

Should I, A 42-Year-Old, Ask Out My 18-Year-Old Coworker?

I have a crush on my 18-year-old co-worker, and I'm certain she has a crush on me, too — even though I'm 42 and she doesn't know my age yet. The age gap is too big, which makes me afraid to ask her out because I don't want to ruin my friendship with her.

The last time I had a relationship with an age gap this big was with a 19-year-old woman when I was 33. Before that, I had a relationship with a 45-year-old woman when I was 25.

I'm not sure what to do. Transitioning our relationship from friendly co-workers to something possibly romantic is a huge step for me. But there's a new movie coming out soon that I know she's excited about, and it seems like the perfect chance to ask her out. But is it worth risking the friendship? And possibly complicating things at work?

[Creators]

Annie Lane encourages the letter writer to play it safe. “It's important to remember that along with this woman's young age comes a much different phase of life than the one you're in,” she writes. “Your dating history makes you much more equipped than her to handle a relationship with such a significant age difference — and that's assuming she is even interested in one.” Read the rest of her answer.

Wasn’t It Passive-Aggressive And Weird When My Company’s HR Person Asked Me If I Was Aware I’d Waived Benefit Coverage?

It’s benefit elections time where I work. I signed up for pretty much the boilerplate options last year, which was health insurance and a few other items, including a life insurance policy and a disability insurance policy.

This year I decided to waive the life insurance and the disability, because I’d rather have the money and the plans don’t seem very good. After submitting my selections, I got an email from our HR person asking me if I was aware that I waived them. It felt a little passive-aggressive and weird. Why does she care? Also, I think she knows damn well I didn’t waive them by accident. What do you think?

[Ask A Manager]

Alison Green urges the letter writer to confirm that they intended to waive coverage. “I wouldn’t be convinced she knows you didn’t waive them by accident; you’d be surprised by how many people do things like that and then are surprised/upset when the insurance isn’t available to them later,” she writes. Read the rest of her answer.

Read last week's column here.