What, salmon hats don’t count as tools? Were the salmon insufficiently modified?
posted by nat at 11:23 PM on June 24 [4 favorites]

I would say a hat is an adornment, not a tool, generally speaking.
posted by adrienneleigh at 11:24 PM on June 24 [3 favorites]

Sure, a tool for looking awesome.
posted by nat at 11:26 PM on June 24 [15 favorites]

Oooh I believe these are my local orcas! I knew they were kind of an unusual group but I didn’t know they were that odd, but I just read their Wikipedia article and they have all kinds of unique qualities. Personally, I find orcas deeply terrifying on some kind of primitive caveman level, but I am glad to learn the ones closest to me are weirdos.

I’d never heard of “kelping” before but now I’m imagining big kelp forests are like drive through car washes and this allokelping being described is like when you get one of those big sponges and a bucket in your driveway.
posted by Mizu at 3:38 AM on June 25 [4 favorites]

My first thought upon reading the title. My second thought upon reading about salmon hats.

WTF, orcas?
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 5:19 AM on June 25 [1 favorite]

Orcas are terrifying and sublime.

This new tool thing, plus the study that caught them attempting to mimic human speech with whale vocal chords, along with a reddit comment on their haunting songs to Japanese fisherman hunting them.
posted by Hume at 6:32 AM on June 25 [1 favorite]

"Bro, can you help me out here? Got some kelp stuck in my teeth."

"No. And for Christs sake stop rubbing it against me. Oh wait..."
posted by Artful Codger at 7:47 AM on June 25

I feel like, if we keep this up long enough, the hard part will be finding other animals that don’t use tools.

Also:
🎶Kelp! I need some scrubbing!
Kelp! Not just any rubbing!
Kelp! ‘cause I feel a-peeling!
Keeeeelp!🎶
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:18 AM on June 25 [7 favorites]

Sounds like they're upping their whole technology game in anticipation of us losing our current status as global hegemony species in the near future...
posted by senor biggles at 8:40 AM on June 25 [3 favorites]

A salmon hat is a cultural fad displayed by orcas, where they wear dead salmon upon their heads. It was first observed in 1987 with southern resident orcas and was a relatively short-lived phenomenon.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Wang Chung has a lot to answer for.
posted by PlusDistance at 9:11 AM on June 25 [2 favorites]

Sounds like they're upping their whole technology game in anticipation of us losing our current status as global hegemony species in the near future...

So we were right to kill the whales all along. We need to finish the job before they come for us.
posted by star gentle uterus at 1:00 PM on June 25

Too late.

Well, except that I'm not sure the mega-yacht havers qualify as "us" in any useful sense.
posted by nat at 4:06 PM on June 25 [1 favorite]

also, I'm being unfair. The salmon-hat and seaweed-bathing orcas are the southern resident orcas Mizu linked above.

The yacht-attacking orcas are near the Straight of Gibraltar. Different orca culture.

Of course some things are cross-cultural, witness Venice being every bit as disgusted with Bezos as any Seattle-ite.
posted by nat at 4:10 PM on June 25

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