Every day, somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on X from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.

Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it

-- maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019

This week, we've got a man who finds fatherhood boring, a tone-deaf comment from Coldplay's frontman and Bryan Johnson's weirdest tweet yet.

Sunday

Justin Murphy

The character: Justin Murphy, writer, unimpressed father

The plot: Being a parent to a very young child is many things — hard work, physically and mentally draining at times, but ultimately rewarding — but nobody on earth would consider caring for a baby or toddler a primarily "fun" task. At least, that's what we thought before we read Justin Murphy's post whining about how it took until his child turned three for him to start to enjoy being a dad.

Even worse, the post seems to imply that he simply didn't do very much childcare for years on end, because roughhousing and forming ideas are the only parental tasks he seems to be able to think of that are fit for a man. It's enough to make us want to hurl.

Crazy how long it takes for fatherhood to become fun. My son just turned 3 and I almost want to say I’m only just now starting to find this gig fun, like at all. I guess fathers don’t talk about this because it sounds bad but 0-2 is pretty boring. Not much for a man to do until…

— Justin Murphy (@jmrphy) January 19, 2025

The repercussion: The vast majority of the responses on X are people absolutely dragging this guy, and accusing him of everything under the sun. If nothing else, hopefully Justin takes the critiques to heart, and ultimately stops posting own-goals on the internet.

[standing there and watching my wife change our baby before putting on another load of laundry and getting dinner started] i guess there just isn’t anything for me to do for the next couple of years https://t.co/kp2Ql3nO6L

— illy bocean (@IllyBocean) January 20, 2025

perfect example of what my wife and i call “uncle dad.” wants to be a father but doesn’t give a shit about the work https://t.co/UENgTqtPjM

— spencer lane (@spenceralane) January 19, 2025

I’ve been hangin out w my niece like every other week since she was born and can confidently say that babies are infinitely more interesting&engaging than the average troglodyte tweeting how empty his yrs 0-2 experience with his own son was 😭😭 fucking loser bum ass father lmao https://t.co/xksjg4aTSe

— sunday double (@ur_first_kiss) January 23, 2025

If you go through 0-2 of your child's life and think there is 'not much to do', you are not actively parenting but waiting to do something YOU find fun. Go and help your wife ffs!!! https://t.co/4GlDdwtq5Y

— chaos robot 🤖 (@deestiv) January 20, 2025

The fact that this guy reckons kids don’t form ideas and can’t roughhouse until they’re 3 suggests to me that he has been actively avoiding interacting with his child at all for three years
And that’s not even scratching the surface of the ‘not much for a man to do’ part https://t.co/q4ZS3wIRkv

— Rob Hill (@DevolvedRob) January 21, 2025

A man gazing at his toddler wondering, “What can you do for me, and when can I wrestle you?” https://t.co/x093TLtDCC

— cottage mom era (@je2fs) January 20, 2025

https://t.co/wKA7hGA9TP pic.twitter.com/5ta5VmWTSR

— Ernest Wilkins | 🏁 (@ErnestWilkins) January 20, 2025

The things you people co-create with smfh https://t.co/tAUckTYPrR pic.twitter.com/HqzJg38mKf

— Akademu ka Rwakaraba (@Kemihegyeyo1) January 21, 2025

Grant Brunner

Sunday

Chris Martin

The character: Chris Martin, Coldplay frontman, colonial detractor

The plot: Martin and his band Coldplay performed to thousands of people in India this past week, and during one of the shows in Mumbai, in front of a reported 75,000 fans, Martin thanked fans for showing up — and then apologized for the British colonialism in India.

"Thank you for welcoming us even though we are from Great Britain," he added. "Thanks for forgiving us despite everything Great Britain did."

Chris Martin apologizes from all the bad things Britan has done to India at their Coldplay concert in Mumbai (January 19, 2025)
byu/mcfw31 inpopculturechat

Chris Martin thanks Coldplay fans in Mumbai for ‘forgiving’ British colonialism https://t.co/PdGL9uSH5S

— NME (@NME) January 20, 2025

The repercussion: There were no immediate groans or sighs heard in the short clip that was posted online, but the headline and accompanying photos from the gig, once they made their way to X, were too good not to be roasted. The haters were outraged by his selective activism ("what would he say in [insert country here] then?"), while others were caught off-guard by the absurd timing of his statement.

glad that's sorted https://t.co/GviipZeRaS

— Aidan James (@mcandidate) January 21, 2025

reminded me of this masterpiecepic.twitter.com/gomMoWs8Lo https://t.co/bOkgZ7Wo3T

— ^⁠_⁠^ (@kartiikjoshii) January 21, 2025

colonialism was bad but sending coldplay over there really feels like adding insult to injury https://t.co/KEnk4MKdXO

— milo edwards (@Milo_Edwards) January 21, 2025

https://t.co/NBPCxopEAT pic.twitter.com/Cbi5lMlLZw

— ethical girlboss (@lavionline) January 21, 2025

Adwait Patil

Wednesday

Bryan Johnson

The character: Bryan Johnson, venture capitalist, anti-aging obsessive, weird dad

The plot: This won't be the first time you've heard of Bryan Johnson. By now, the mega-rich entrepreneur is as well-known for his mission to defy death as he is for his bizarre social media posts — but this latest tweet is quite possibly his most unhinged yet.

Nighttime erection data from my 19-year-old son, @talmagejohnson_, and me. His duration is two minutes longer than mine.

Raise children to stand tall, be firm, and be upright. pic.twitter.com/ruIYyPMrUC

— Bryan Johnson /dd (@bryan_johnson) January 22, 2025

The repercussion: I don't think the reactions to Johnson's post require much explanation, but in summary: people think it's very, very odd that he monitored his son's erections, compared them to his own, and posted the data online.

I don’t even want to know how you measure this

— greg (@greg16676935420) January 23, 2025

going meat for meat on the tl with ur teenage son is wild

— rocky (@chamathsintern) January 22, 2025

He’s having a boner-off with his own son https://t.co/R0B9t02TTw

— Joshua Rainer (@JoshRainerGold) January 22, 2025

i have a feeling this won't even crack the top 10 most disturbing chapters in your son's inevitable autobiography.

— wash your crack (@WashYourCrack) January 22, 2025

Don’t gatekeep 🙏🏻 What program do you use to track this data? I’m sick of manually monitoring my son’s nighttime erections. https://t.co/KeImCIJPrk

— April Clark (@autogynefiles) January 23, 2025

🫣 https://t.co/aEx82WRiXG pic.twitter.com/4l0pzIxYRv

— tea ☕️ (@realteaemoji) January 23, 2025

Darcy Jimenez

Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which featured "Nosferatu" discourse, an AI company CEO's take on music and some unconventional advice from comedian Theo Von.

[Image credit: Katriece Ray/Wikimedia Commons]