There are too many excellent advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists addressed in recent days.

What Should I Do After I Moved Abroad For A Work Project And Discovered My Boss Expects Me To Live With Her And Her Husband?

I have been working at my company for two years, and I get along well with my boss, who is a woman in her early thirties. Her husband also works for the same startup and we are all on a work trip together for a few months in a foreign country. The company is providing community housing (with private beds and bathrooms) for commuting workers that holds about 10 people, and a few two-bedroom condos.

Before we arrived, my boss, her husband, my coworker, and I were under the impression that we would be the four people filling the two condos — me and my coworker in one, my boss and her husband in the other. When my coworker arrived, she was taken to the community housing and given a room, and when we arrived, my boss and her husband were moved into one bedroom of an apartment and I was moved into the other bedroom of the same apartment. When I asked if my coworker and I were going to move into the other condo once it became available in a few days, I was told no.

I brought up the problem to my boss’s boss and said that I am concerned about living with my boss and her husband for the next three months, but for the short term it is not a problem. He said that it’s a valid concern, and that he would work on it and that I should suck it up for about a week.

About a week has passed, and my coworker who I originally was going to live with has expressed her preference for staying where she is because she is already settled in, and I was informed by my boss that I am to keep living with her and her husband for the foreseeable future. This is so my boss’s boss and another male coworker can live in the other apartment and my coworker can stay where she is.

I am quite uncomfortable with this situation and have expressed this to my boss, my boss’s boss, and the person in charge of housing, and I am not sure what to do next. I am excited about this job and really enjoy working with my team, but working 72 hours a week with my boss and her husband and then going home with them is just a bit too weird for me. Any advice?

[Ask A Manager]

Alison Green urges the letter writer to clearly tell their boss’s boss and the housing coordinator that this situation is unacceptable. “This isn’t less-than-ideal housing for a couple of nights in an emergency; this is three months of your life outside of work, and they almost certainly have other solutions available if you make it clear that the current plan is a no-go for you,” she writes. Read the rest of her answer.

How Should I Handle My Son Blaming Me For His Breakup Because I Couldn’t Take Care Of His Sick Child On Short Notice?

I love my son and grandson but I can’t stand his living situation since his divorce. His ex was the biggest button pusher, but since their separation, she just steamrolls my son.

She snaps her fingers and my son jumps up. She ignores the custody schedule and will keep my grandson when it pleases her and dump him on us when she has a hot date. I can’t tell you the number of family events and even work events (my son works in the family business) that have been interrupted, altered, or canceled at the last minute because of her.

My son does nothing but complain that he has no choice and wants what is “best” for his son. This constant chaos isn’t it. I didn’t voice my opinion about this behavior until my son tried to unload my sick grandson on me because his mom didn’t want to get sick and miss work and my son was expected to be managing a project out of state that week. I am the main caregiver for my elderly and immunosuppressed parents and aunt. There is no way I can care for them and deal with a sick child. My grandson can bounce back from the flu; it could kill my parents and aunt.

My son and I had a huge fight. He accused me of trying to sabotage him and I told him to find his spine. It was her custody week. This was Mom’s situation to deal with. He left and ended up leaving his son with his girlfriend and her child. It was the ending factor in their relationship and now my son blames me for it. He said if I had just been “helpful” and taken my grandson, none of this would have happened. I have been helpful time and time again but it isn’t helping the situation because my son will not stand up to his ex. The custody schedule is there for a reason. I am sympathetic to my son but I I am stretched too thin. What do I do here?

[Slate]

Delia Cai advises the letter writer to set clear boundaries with their son about how much childcare they’re able to offer. “It sounds like your son has very little sense of personal accountability in his life,” she writes. “I don’t envy the situation that this passiveness has gotten him, but there’s simply no magic spell that you can utter to force your son to confront his sense of agency (or lack of it).” Read the rest of her answer.

Am I Right To Expect My Adult Daughter To Handle 100% Of My In-Home Caregiving, And My Adult Sons To Handle 0% Of It?

I am a woman with several health issues. After a fall last year, I am now confined to a wheelchair and need assistance with everyday activities. My 36-year-old daughter lives with me (she broke up with her boyfriend). Now she is my home attendant.

My daughter feels that her two brothers should also help with my care. They both have jobs. I think that if she's living rent-free in my home and receiving a salary to take care of me, she shouldn't expect them to do more. They take me grocery shopping. She wants them to come over, throw out the trash and clean the cat litter box. Is she right?

[UExpress]

Abigail Van Buren observes that the letter writer’s daughter might be at her limit. “Throwing out the trash and cleaning the cat litter box once a week would give your sons a chance to visit with you and, perhaps, give her an hour or so to do some things for herself,” she writes. “I don't think that's too much to ask.” Read the rest of her answer.

How Can I Get In Touch With A Gorgeous Waitress Who Served Me Once At The Restaurant Where I’m A Regular?

I’m a regular at a local bar/restaurant, and I mainly go for there for drinks and it’s a female staff type environment, so of course I go there for the women, too. I mostly sit at the bar, but one day it was full so I had to sit at a table. And I’m really glad I did because the waitress I had was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous inside and out. She was also very kind and sweet.

Throughout the time I was there, we had a wonderful conversation and we just really clicked. Unfortunately, her shift was coming to an end but I didn’t mind because I knew I would see her again since I went there every day. And I did see her quite a few times, and when I would sit at a table, I was really hoping she would be my waitress again. Sadly, it didn’t happen, and I didn’t see her for a while. I wasn’t sure if she didn’t work there anymore or if she was just absent for a bit. I was fortunate to have gotten her name but it would’ve been helpful if I had known what her last name was. I tried to find her on social media but I was having no success. I even thought about asking where she’s been but I didn’t want to disrespect her privacy or make her feel like I was compromising her safety (I would not want to put her in a vulnerable position).

I don’t want to give up finding her, though, because I know once I do, I will feel very rewarded knowing I achieved and accomplished something I thought was impossible. What do you think I should do?

[Boston.com]

Meredith Goldstein directs the letter writer to stop searching for the waitress. “It sounds like she’s gone — or doesn’t want to be seen,” she writes. “Finding her wouldn’t be an accomplishment.” Read the rest of her answer.

What Should I Do After Discovering That My Husband Expects Me To Continue Doing 90% Of The Domestic Labor After He Stops Working?

My husband and I have been married for 19 years and have two elementary school–age kids. For most of our marriage, his work hours were longer than mine — 50 hours a week for him, 30 for me. I made things equitable by picking up 90 percent of the domestic labor: I do the household errands, cleaning, school drop-offs, etc., which easily add up to 20 hours a week. But my husband has recently come into an inheritance (wealthy aunts do exist) that would allow him to retire from a tough job much earlier than he’d planned. We’d lose some annual income, but I reassured him that less money seemed worth it for the net benefit to our family: He’d be happier, and healthier, and if he’s no longer working, then he could take over some of my regular duties, which would make me happier and healthier too.

To my surprise, his reaction was indignation. He said that after working for three decades, he was tired of having a supervisor and living by a schedule — he wants to spend his retirement days as he pleases, not being beholden to anyone. The vibe was “I might clean a toilet if I feel like it one day, but I’m not going to make any commitments or promises, and if I’d rather go golfing, I’ll go golfing.” …

But some things just require commitments, right? Our 6-year-old doesn’t care whether her parents felt like doing laundry; she just needs to know that her soccer uniform will be clean on Tuesday. Or: While driving home from my office, do I cross my fingers that my husband felt inspired to shop for and cook dinner rather than golf today? If he didn’t, do I scramble to put something together while seething because I know that I’m still working and doing most of the domestic labor, while he’s retired and lounging around all day? I need to know my next step, because this current path is already making both of us feel resentful.

[Slate]

Dan Kois suggests one more serious talk with the husband explaining the importance of continuing to contribute to his family. “Marriage means that just as we share the labor, we share the windfalls, and there is no reason that his good fortune should not make the lives of everyone in his family better,” he writes. “To think otherwise marks you as a bad husband, bad father, and overall piece of s_t.” Read the rest of his answer.

Should I Turn Down A Date With A Guy Because I Found Out He Dressed Up As A Baby For Halloween?

There’s a guy who seems to be interested in me. We have some mutual friends, and he’s been trying to interact via social media. We met formally for the first time a few weeks ago at a party we both attended. He seemed charming and articulate, and he even bought me and my sister some drinks.The other night, I happened to see a disturbing photo of this young man online. He attended a Halloween party dressed — or not dressed — as a baby! He had on a diaper and a baby bonnet, and he had a large pacifier in his mouth. His upper body and legs were fully exposed. Am I overreacting, or is this reason enough to dodge the first date he’s offered?

[UExpress]

Harriette Cole rules that dressing up as a baby for Halloween is not a red flag. “Go out with the guy, and at a natural point, tell him you saw a funny picture of him,” she writes. “Ask him what possessed him to wear that costume.” Read the rest of her answer.