The Salvation War
January 23, 2025 1:41 PM Subscribe
Stuart Slade's "The Salvation War," humanity-fuck-yeah fiction in which the human race devastates Hell and fires a thermonuclear warhead at Jesus. In two parts, Armageddon and Pantheocide
A voice from Heaven announces that the gates are closed and that everyone needs to just lie down and die, kthxbye. Humans instead decide to fight back.
This is VERY not for everyone. It's very "Lt. Smith increased the gain on her AN/RQ-42069 glorblesnopper, targeting the demon, and she fired an AIM-270 BVRAAM at the offending hellbeast" kind of milsf. LOOOOOOOOTS of graphic things-getting-asploded and some only-just-offstage sexual violence.
It's also at once very conservative, and pokes fun at notional liberals like Obama... but part of how it's conservative is that it makes Dubya almost prochoice, and it's very supportive of its trans characters? Weird. Reminds me of Elizabeth Moon, if she took a big pile of meth and hallucinogens.
I dunno. I thought maybe some of y'all might want to read about Satan getting blowed up, or nuking Heaven, etc, in a cathartic maybe vaguely Luigic kinda way. It has big "Fuck you, Fuckball" energy.
A voice from Heaven announces that the gates are closed and that everyone needs to just lie down and die, kthxbye. Humans instead decide to fight back.
This is VERY not for everyone. It's very "Lt. Smith increased the gain on her AN/RQ-42069 glorblesnopper, targeting the demon, and she fired an AIM-270 BVRAAM at the offending hellbeast" kind of milsf. LOOOOOOOOTS of graphic things-getting-asploded and some only-just-offstage sexual violence.
It's also at once very conservative, and pokes fun at notional liberals like Obama... but part of how it's conservative is that it makes Dubya almost prochoice, and it's very supportive of its trans characters? Weird. Reminds me of Elizabeth Moon, if she took a big pile of meth and hallucinogens.
I dunno. I thought maybe some of y'all might want to read about Satan getting blowed up, or nuking Heaven, etc, in a cathartic maybe vaguely Luigic kinda way. It has big "Fuck you, Fuckball" energy.
I am reminded of a vague memory of reading something on USENET in, like, talk.bizarre, maybe, that included 'grace-seeking missiles' when mankind fights god.
posted by rmd1023 at 2:42 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]
posted by rmd1023 at 2:42 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]
The His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman would be a more serious work having a similar theme.
posted by jeffburdges at 3:02 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]
posted by jeffburdges at 3:02 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]
You know there’s, like, 17 light novels of Spider Isekai or whatever we’re up to, and if you drop the Abrahamic faith aspect this basically describes the last 3~5 of them.
Which is to say: I have read a *lot* of this kind of story and I’m not sure dropping hivemind magical girl spider-centaur goddesses in favor of Jehovah is an improvement.
posted by Ryvar at 3:14 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]
Which is to say: I have read a *lot* of this kind of story and I’m not sure dropping hivemind magical girl spider-centaur goddesses in favor of Jehovah is an improvement.
posted by Ryvar at 3:14 PM on January 23 [1 favorite]
For those who want the Cliff Notes version, there's a surprisingly in-depth page at TVTropes:
Armageddon and Pantheocide can be found in this forum [...] Copies of both books are also available on The Sietch. These are first-draft raw copy.posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 3:41 PM on January 23
Allegedly due to the creation and spread of a torrent of the stories, The Salvation War is now radioactive as far as publishers are concerned. Without this incentive, it appeared as though the third part of the series, The Lords of War, was not going to be written [...] By late 2019, he appears to have changed his mind, with the third story being published one part at a time on an uncertain schedule. As of July 2020, the first four parts of The Lords of War have been published thus far to the same forum, with the latest entry in March.
The author passed away in December 2020, ending any hope of seeing the series finished.
In a similar vein, but more Sam Spade-ish and very fun is Richard Kadrey's Sandman Slim series
posted by CplCarrot at 3:45 PM on January 23
posted by CplCarrot at 3:45 PM on January 23
to god, your weapon will be like a pop rock in space.
I cannot find the meme but there is a delightful image of someone asking "But how do you know if a God is real?" and it cutting to the Stargate SG4 captain replying, "C4, usually"
posted by Slackermagee at 4:26 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]
I cannot find the meme but there is a delightful image of someone asking "But how do you know if a God is real?" and it cutting to the Stargate SG4 captain replying, "C4, usually"
posted by Slackermagee at 4:26 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]
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to god, your weapon will be like a pop rock in space.
interesting though, kinda of reminds me of the TV series Dominion.
"A-10s Sir? What about the B-2s?"
"Screw them, they're out of service for weeks. Our boys fighting down in Hell need the Warthogs"
probably the scariest piece of machinery I ever heard go over my head was an A-10.
the songbirds of hell.
posted by clavdivs at 2:05 PM on January 23 [2 favorites]