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[–]juggheadjones 1269 points1270 points  (81 children)

As Frank Reynolds would say, "when I die just throw me in the trash"

[–]Xanaoded 452 points453 points  (50 children)

“Fill me up with cream,make a stew out of my ass. What's the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. Who gives a shit? You're dead, you're dead!”

[–]CH33KCL4PP3R 148 points149 points  (41 children)

Seriously, y'all can achieve the exact same effect by planting a tree over the grave (provided there's no coffin)

[–]sturnus-vulgaris 288 points289 points  (19 children)

And when the tree dies, you can chop it down, make a trebuchet, dig up what's left of me, and launch my bones at the graves of my enemies.

They know what they did.

[–]CH33KCL4PP3R 77 points78 points  (7 children)

Hell yeah, recycling.

I can dig it.

[–]poonmangler 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Yes digging was one of the steps

[–]WisherWisp 5 points6 points  (0 children)

/u/CH33KCL4PP3R brandished his shovel, "Does this job require pants?" He asked again louder, wondering why no one at the wake would meet his eye.

[–]lalakingmalibog 8 points9 points  (0 children)

People in the future will sing songs about how one Sturnus Vulgaris vanquished his foes using a 90 kg projectile from over 300 meters away

[–]PollyRossGone 26 points27 points  (14 children)

Actually, this isn't quite true. Our bodies are pretty toxic to trees. We need to be wrapped in a mushroom impregnated shroud (no embalming fluid) before burial (no coffin). The mushrooms begin to break down the organic matter, heavy metals, etc. in our bodies, and make simpler nutrients available for the tree.

[–]chickenstalker 13 points14 points  (10 children)

No we're not toxic. Western customs are fucked up. You pump the most biodegradable matter which is our dead bodies with toxic preservatives and then put it in $10000 metal caskets. My people shroud the unpreserved body in simple cloth and bury it in the ground to rot. No need for any fancy new tech or fuel to burn.

[–]CH33KCL4PP3R 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In the immortal words of Dave Chappelle

"Sprinkle some (mushroom spores) on him and let's get outta here"

[–]arstin 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Wouldn't it be easier to just feed our bodies to mushrooms and just plant a tree like normal?

[–]AgentofImmolation 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I mean you can achieve the same respects by sacrificing to the tree god

[–]8man_Iroh 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Planting a tree right over their crotch so they can have an immortal woody

[–]ratajewie 32 points33 points  (3 children)

My favorite is from the episode where it’s all Frank’s POV, and he’s choking and passing out, thinks he’s dying, and just groans out “somebody throw me in the trash!”

[–]evildeadjunkie 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Ha! You're dying, ya bastard!

[–]IM_OZLY_HUMVN 21 points22 points  (0 children)

how to frame ones self for murder

[–]ExileEden 15 points16 points  (5 children)

Wouldn't it be so much cooler and more beautiful to walk through a graveyard that's instead a groove of trees? Instead of a cold stone and blank earth you could speak to your loved one by physically seeing and touch a living tree that's actually helping the world.

The opposite end of this is if the tree dies or never grows at all. My family's bad enough that there surely would be some kind of joke. "Welp dad always said he was sick of hearing us whine all the time. So he died again. "

My actual fear would be when some bullshit company or state nonsense cuts them down because they wanna build a Walmart.

[–]Mathranas 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I had an idea for this long ago, but the only caveat was that every person buried there had to have written down one life lesson or piece of wisdom that would be affixed to your tree when it was old enough. So it required some forethought on your part.

You could walk through a forest of lessons from times past.

[–]FurryThrowaway42069 9 points10 points  (3 children)

my great grandma with dementia would tell us to just throw her and all of her things into the trash once she died, often

[–]GeneralWaste_69 1768 points1769 points  (97 children)

Creepy, but hella dope. Makes my plan of chopping myself to pieces and throwing them off a cliff a bit unnecessary.

[–]muklan 983 points984 points 2 (34 children)

Remember to do your hands last.

[–]cutelyaware 177 points178 points  (17 children)

And climb the cliff before doing your feet, and bring a knife before climbing the cliff, etc. These things must be done delicately.

[–]MajorDanger85 44 points45 points  (13 children)

I’d just die in the general direction of a wood chipper.

[–]ewdrive 10 points11 points  (9 children)

Hidey-ho, officer. We've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing some chores around the house, when kids started killing themselves all over my property.

[–]GeneralWaste_69 37 points38 points  (6 children)

I ain't doing the hard work mate.

[–]muklan 52 points53 points  (5 children)

Thats not the way you phrased it, but either way. If "its rainin men" isnt playing during that ceremony, youre missing out on a once in a lifetime pun.

[–]GeneralWaste_69 13 points14 points  (3 children)

I feel like that would only work as my bits fall down on the horrified guests - or the ashes, but imagine how great the body bits would be. Shame I'd be dead for it.

[–]MagicalDouche 3 points4 points  (2 children)

My favorite is the wood chipper slam jam, when you dunk off a high cliff and fall in a wood chipper

[–]Granite-M 22 points23 points  (8 children)

I think Tom Green had this all planned out.

What you do is you go to the top of a tall building with some rope and some piano wire.

You cut the rope into segments and then tie them to your extremities, like around your bicep, forearm, shin, calf, and so on. You give yourself like fifty feet of slack on each segment, and tie the other end to a secure point on the roof of the building.

Then you tie the segments of piano wire to your major joints, your wrists, knees, elbows, etc. You give yourself like forty feet of slack, and tie the wire securely to the roof as well. Whatever the exact length is, it really just matters that the piano wire is shorter than the rope, but that you've got enough slack on the whole system for you to get up enough falling speed.

Then you jump off the roof, and when you get to the end of the piano wire, it'll slice off all your extremities, but they'll be attached by the ropes, so you'll be instantly turned into a piece of hanging human mobile art. It'll be great fun for everyone at the bottom of the building.

You'll want to make sure your knot tying skills are reliable beforehand, of course.

[–]KetchupIsABeverage 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Which book does this happen in? Am intrigued

[–]stosal 42 points43 points  (3 children)

No, don't not do that.

[–]GeneralWaste_69 57 points58 points  (1 child)

FUCK OFF MUM I SAID I'LL DO WHAT I WANT.

[–]stosal 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Well boys will be boys.

[–]seeyouspacecowboyx 24 points25 points  (13 children)

You could feed yourself to vultures! Vultures are nice!

[–]GeneralWaste_69 5 points6 points  (6 children)

I wanted to! But I wanted to be cut into pieces for easier convenience, but also because that way I could feed more animals and shit.

Maybe I can become minced meat somehow?

[–]TungstenCLXI 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Look into sky burial, there's a whole process for what you're talking about already laid out.

[–]LordFirebeard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Cut my corpse into pieces

This is my last request

Chuck my face in, no breathing

Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm and yeet it

[–]Unsalted_Creampie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

From what i saw on 4chan, just go to work in china with a machine that got moving parts

[–]BFG_Scott 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Reminds me of...

When I die, I want my remains scattered at Disneyland. Also...
I don’t want to be cremated.

[–]-----------_--- 3 points4 points  (1 child)

oh thats still gonna happen, you just wont be expecting it

[–]GeneralWaste_69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds exciting!

[–]Wiseau-Serious 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jump into a wood chipper.

[–]Garm27 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Chop me up into little pieces and throw me into a river! Who gives a shit you’re dead, you’re dead!”

[–]not-scp-1715 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Depends on if you're trying to feed trees or animals :)

[–]FaaacePalm 1 point2 points  (1 child)

They can also liquid cremate you which is also better than regular heat cremation for the environment.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alkaline_hydrolysis_(body_disposal)

[–]ruggles_bottombush 240 points241 points  (22 children)

It makes me think of Killer Klowns From Outer Space.

[–]theoryfiver 43 points44 points  (7 children)

What ever happened to that movie. Netflix dropped it and I wanted to watch it.

[–]MrsT1229 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Browsing on Amazon and they have it on Prime to watch

[–]Greymore 4 points5 points  (1 child)

It's a weird movie but I remember a few parts of it legitimately scaring me as a kid. Haven't seen it all the way through since so I don't know how well it holds up, but if you can find it definitely give it a watch.

[–]sesame_says 15 points16 points  (3 children)

My dad had me watch that when I was little, I still can't stand clowns.

[–]Tychus_Kayle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He prepared you for the real world.

[–]Itsohhereitis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Lol I made my 7 year old watch it this Halloween . I’m sure I scarred him for life.

[–]bobbybox 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Whoa, memories. Back in the day I rented KKfOS from Blockbuster. Even though I did return it, they kept trying to charge me a non-return fee for it for years

Then they went...bust.

[–]maellie27 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Amen! Such a great flic!

[–]mixedliquor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bring your own straw.

[–]Seakrits 228 points229 points  (43 children)

I saw this idea years ago and thought it was pretty cool. Someone also mentioned how neat it would be to have huge swathes of protected forest because they would be "graveyards". Additionally, have forest caretakers, make paths through them, plant flowers, etc. Would be much more peaceful and beautiful than our current graveyards.

[–]tRUe_bENdI_fLOpS 94 points95 points  (13 children)

best part is that it'd be considered disrespectful to cut them down so they wouldnt be destroyed for a very long time even if the land was sold

[–]NameIdeas 36 points37 points  (7 children)

This makes me want to be a redwood when I die

[–]TasteTheRaimbow 18 points19 points  (5 children)

You won’t be the redwood but you’ll help with some tasty soil for a few years

[–]TheMightyMoot 8 points9 points  (1 child)

To be fair, unless you're talking about the metaphysical label we use to describe your behaviour and self, anything that you "are" when you die would become a part of the tree. So In the same sense that my family is partially me for having inhaled my dead skin, you could be a redwood in death.

[–]sipoloco 69 points70 points  (9 children)

I've always thought cemeteries as we know them today are a huge waste of space. If we planted a tree for every body we bury we would have massive parks and green space in every city. On top of that, loved ones would have a tree to come visit and see grow which I think would be much more symbolic than a just gravestone.

[–]goldenmantella 16 points17 points  (2 children)

I agree. I think that's beautiful.

[–]SayThankU 16 points17 points  (1 child)

"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in."

[–]Noodlelol 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Kinda reminds me of this one

now we flourish as before others did and soon others will whose children we shall never see

[–]ekjp4ever 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And trees get better and better as time goes on, whereas stones become broken, weathered, and sad. The trees do have to avoid catching fire though.

[–]bianchi12 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Planting a tree above a fairly shallow grave does the same thing.. i dont understand why the fetal position is necessary as humans have been doing this for hundreds of years

[–]2SP00KY4ME 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Imagine if your tree didn't grow though, your family would have nothing and it would seem like a cosmic middle finger.

[–]Atronoid 340 points341 points  (45 children)

HELL YEAH i was just gonna have my kids throw my ashes into a pot of soil so they can plant whatever tf they want but i wanna be a fucking tree!!!!!

[–]KAKrisko 148 points149 points  (28 children)

This is much better than ashes in soil. The high temperature of cremation destroys all organic matter, leaving only little clinkers of mineral, most of which is not bio-available. With this, all your yummy parts are still there to be utilized.

[–]YouAreDreaming 50 points51 points  (26 children)

Genuine question, is cremation friendly to the environment?

[–]KAKrisko 82 points83 points  (16 children)

Not particularly. It's better than burial with embalmation, but it releases a lot of greenhouse gases and chemicals.

For interesting insights into all these things, I recommend Caitlyn Doherty, Ask A Mortician/Order of the Good Death on YouTube.

[–]YouAreDreaming 21 points22 points  (12 children)

Is there laws against burial without embalmation or casket? Seems the natural way to do it

[–]KAKrisko 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Depends on where you live. Where I live, there is a special cemetery for 'natural' burial, but in other cemeteries your remains must be contained. It often has to do with groundwater levels and other considerations. You can probably find a city or county page on graveyards/cemeteries, burial requirements, and such. That's how I found the natural cemetery here.

[–]_No_Donkey_Brains_ 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Most of the Muslim world doesn’t burry in a casket. The body is wrapped in a cloth shroud and put directly into the earth that way, no embalming or any other process. In the Islamic tradition bodies must be washed and buried at the next available midday prayer, so if you died in the evening you’d likely be buried the following afternoon, the day after that at the latest.

[–]paroles 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There are laws against it in some places, and even where it's legal, it can be difficult to find someone who'll provide the service in some locations. "Green burial" or "natural burial" are the terms to google if you're interested.

It's one of the issues that Caitlin Doughty (who was mentioned in the comment you replied to) talks about a lot, I highly recommend her books or videos.

[–]alexdoes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Think it's called free burial, no casket or anything

[–]paroles 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Her name is actually spelled Caitlin Doughty in case anyone is trying to find her :) She's awesome and a great advocate of the right to choose natural burial as an alternative to embalming or cremation. Her book From Here to Eternity is a fascinating look at death traditions in America and around the world.

[–]kaneblaise 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I don't feel qualified to spout facts, but my wife is very into the death positivity movement and has told me that it is not a good choice from an environmental angle, but neither is traditional embalm-and-casket. Composting like this is the best green option.

[–]Axel_The_Sir 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm sure it's better than the embalming fluids that are sometimes used, but im not sure if the actual cremation process is eco-friendly. Ashes are much less of a bother to the planet than boxes of corpses are, though

[–]tofu_tot 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Same here! Great minds think alike :) I’m writing this into my will ASAP:

I wanna be a fucking tree!!!

Complete with this picture

[–]-comfypants 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I like your enthusiasm.

[–]Glassiam 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Die, Become a Tree, Get Cutdown, Processed into a kitchen table,

Circle of life.

[–]EuroBronco 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Then they can cut you down, grind you into paper pulp, and print the Bible on yo ass 💕

[–]Grateful_Live420- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

your innocent excitement gives me hope for some reason - please continue being a cursed source of light for humanity thanks

[–]thealexkidson 426 points427 points  (48 children)

This is how you end up with haunted forests.

[–]UhhhhhhhhhIDRK 128 points129 points  (10 children)

Is that a bad thing?

[–]WeHaveAllBeenThere 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Sounds like Orc lies!

[–]Rejukem 26 points27 points  (1 child)

They come with FIRE

They come with AXES

[–]Sir_TonyStark 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Gnawwwing, biting, breaking, hacking, burning! Destroyers and usurpers! Curse them!

[–]Danzig_DeVito 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The white wizard will know

[–]greenw40 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It makes for stressful camping.

[–]redmooncat15 40 points41 points  (8 children)

Omg this sounds amazing.

[–]tofu_tot 39 points40 points  (7 children)

I can’t wait to haunt a forest :)

[–]Ilaxilil 40 points41 points  (5 children)

Much better than a graveyard, and better for the environment.

[–]StopReadingMyUser 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Everyone for the environment til the tree ghosts start talkin

[–]marlowned 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I dunno I’d be a chill ghost. Like “Hey guys...I was buried with this tree! How are things going in the world? No Winds of Winter yet, huh? Alright have a nice picnic!”

[–]StopReadingMyUser 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yeah but what if it sounds more like wailing. I'm gettin outta there before Logan Paul comes.

[–]66survivor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The forest will be so haunted that no one would dare to mess with it

[–]Dchama86 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Maybe that’ll keep out the riff raff.

[–]BolgOfAgorTribe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is how you end up with uruk-hai

[–]Super_flywhiteguy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Ghost trees in theory look less scary than ghost people.

[–]drunxor 2 points3 points  (3 children)

This stuff always reminds me of the second Enders game book

[–]wellshire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But what else would we chase retreating Uruk-Hai into after successfully defending ourselves at our final bastion?

[–]BannanaBun123 47 points48 points  (11 children)

I’m giggling thinking about a tree removal service ‘finding me’ under a big tree they removed for somebody’s new pool or driveway someday.

[–]cranakis 46 points47 points  (10 children)

I am thinking of a tree uprooted by a storm 100 years from now with a skeleton clinging to the root ball.

[–]PineConeEagleMan 16 points17 points  (5 children)

Fuck, I’m out

[–]StayFrosty7 11 points12 points  (4 children)

fuck i'm in

[–]dafragsta 8 points9 points  (0 children)

“You mean I get to scare kids 100 years from now?”

[–]G36_FTW 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Off the top of my head I remember several stories about uprooted trees containing skeletons in their roots. Mostly in Europe iirc.

Here is one: https://www.cnn.com/2015/09/15/europe/ireland-tree-skeleton-discovery-feat/index.html

[–]Katahnz 66 points67 points  (19 children)

Do you want Night Sisters? Because THAT is how you get night sisters.

[–]Im-Suffering 26 points27 points  (0 children)

RISE SISTERS, R I S E

[–]TupacShabiggie 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Was waiting for this reference

[–]PufferFish_Tophat 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Star wars, the nightsisters of Dathomir. Think traditional witches with a dark side magic twist. They bury their death in hanging pods like this to be used as attack zombies if needed.

[–]rogue-wolf 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Well, to be honest, Night Sister zombies. All we need now is Old Daka.

[–]RolandTheJabberwocky 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Well that or Merrin. She can't turn it off though.

[–]brutalistsnowflake 82 points83 points  (50 children)

I really like this idea.

[–]Xylitolisbadforyou 31 points32 points  (14 children)

You could just get alkaline hydrolysis to dissolve you and then sluiced down the drain and your remains are processed by the water treatment plant. If you're interested just check with your local funeral home to see if they do it. Not many do it yet.

[–]TucoTastic 43 points44 points  (8 children)

Wtf I hate water now

[–]2SP00KY4ME 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Water treatment plants put their output into the ocean, waterways, etc. They don't give it back to us for drinking.

[–]Smell_the_ElonsMusk 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Fuck that. I paid for it, I want to drink it. Have the fishes treat their own damn water .

[Drinks watered down people juice]

[–]Anxiouslemur 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mmm, soylent green.

[–]wilbyr 6 points7 points  (0 children)

although i find this interesting and hadnt heard of it it seems to be misplaced with the "i really like this idea" comment.

[–]Mage-ariffic 28 points29 points  (32 children)

I watched some tedtalk In 2010 that said our bodies are so toxic this wouldn’t work. You have to wear a mushroom suit to leak the toxins out while you’re alive and THEN be in this riot bag. Creepy fun

[–]LeCollectif 15 points16 points  (18 children)

This seems very unlikely to me. How can we be any more or less toxic than the environment around us?

Do you have a link to the talk?

[–]TrashPanda66 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Agree...I can’t imagine we’re more toxic than anything else. Unless maybe we’re talking about mercury dental fillings or maybe people who had chemo recently (idk if anything stays in the body?)...

[–]misslyssx 6 points7 points  (6 children)

I'm not sure of the TedTalk that is being referred to here but I study mortuary science. The chemical changes that occur after death is what produces the toxic environment. It's not the human body in general that is being referred to as toxic, but the decomposition products of proteins, carbohydrates, and lipids of the body upon death.

[–]LeCollectif 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I can understand it being bad for humans and maybe other life forms. But as naturally decomposing organic matter, are we bad for the environment?

[–]ugamito 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The most natural way to die is by falling to the ground, letting some scavengers and predators pick at you, then letting the insects get their’s, then finally bacteria and fungai coming to clean you up to the bone. All while doing this in the open air.

I assume putting your body in the ground like this skips a lot of steps. And overloads the tree with your “natural organic matter”.

[–]brutalistsnowflake 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Still better than embalming, in my opinion.

[–]Mage-ariffic 19 points20 points  (3 children)

For sure. I would love this. But I’m immortal so I can’t use it. Oh well.

[–]sirlafemme 6 points7 points  (3 children)

How are our bodies too toxic?

[–]fuzzyfuzz 2 points3 points  (1 child)

We don’t wear enough of those feet pads that suck out the toxins while we sleep.

[–]PristinePine 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Is there a way to "prep" our bodies so it wouldn't be toxic, I wonder? Like if you remove enough organs or whatever. Or blend our bodies with some enzymes and other nutrients into a smoothie for the plant sac?

[–]Theweirdpersonguy 15 points16 points  (1 child)

-In 2230

-Mom! Mom! I drew a trash can!!!

-Is tha... IS THAT THE PAPER MADE OUT OF YOUR GRANDFATHER??!?!

[–]BelwasDeservedBetter 64 points65 points  (12 children)

A lot less creepy than having your organs removed, pumped full of chemicals, caked in make up and displayed for friends and family; then sealed in a concrete or metal vault. Give me this or a Sky Burial instead.

[–]Tangerine_boy 22 points23 points  (6 children)

By "sky burial" you mean funeral by catapult?

[–]BelwasDeservedBetter 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Sky Burial is a Tibetan Buddhist burial practice where the body is exposed on a mountaintop to be eaten as carrion by vultures and other birds.

[–]Silverwisp7 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Trebuchet, you effing brute

[–]G00DLuck 5 points6 points  (1 child)

What if I weigh 90 kg? Surely that's a problem.

[–]nadia_neimad 9 points10 points  (0 children)

no, having your corpse eaten by birds of prey and other carnivorous winged beasts upon a mountain top. Often practiced by Tibetan monks on the death of another.

[–]Bukuvu_King 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Please don’t be so disrespectful, obviously it would be conducted with a trebuchet.

[–]smasherella 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Embalmer here. Organs are not removed. Just punctured with a two foot long needle, bodily fluids sucked out of them (urine, feces and blood that wasn’t removed during arterial embalming etc) then pumped with chemicals.

I would like a sky burial / tower of silence for myself.

[–]thxxx1337 25 points26 points  (7 children)

What happens when the detectives decide to exhume mom's corpse because they found more evidence that will incriminate me?

[–]pupsnpogonas 29 points30 points  (5 children)

This is more peaceful to me than burial or cremation.

[–]Bayerrc 11 points12 points  (3 children)

You're dead when they do it, it's all quite peaceful.

[–]TasteTheRaimbow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You telling me they don’t just dig a grave and put people in, kicking and screaming?

[–]Altereddstate 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Logan Paul has entered the chat

[–]Schramdog 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is an incredible idea but I can’t help but think of this image turning into a gif and the body falls out the bottom.

On a lighter note, my Dad worked for a funeral home before I was born. He grew up poor and it baffled him how much money got wasted.

One time he and my Mom got in an argument and he walked into her work at the mall holding more flowers than you could imagine. Everyone gushed a what a sweetheart they thought the was. Mom’s laughter at the sight cleared the air. When asked why she was laughing she replied, “He works for a funeral home!!!”

He’s got game when he’s in the zone!

[–]gonzoanthro 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Just throw me in the trash.

[–]Venexion[🍰] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

This is how I want to be put in the earth. Then I can tell my enemies to use my body tree to hang themselves

[–]MusicHitsImFine 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Clone wars?? Dathomir?

[–]mcbergstedt 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Cool until a tree gets uprooted by a storm and a full skeleton comes up with it

[–]vagabond_monkey 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Still cool with the right storm. Tornadoes might be a bit more fun if they were filled with skeletons.

[–]probablydoesntexist 12 points13 points  (2 children)

It's a nut sack.

[–]Freholly 9 points10 points  (0 children)

So a palm tree?

[–]ashes2608 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m surprised I had to scroll down so far to find this comment. It definitely looks like a ball sack. It’s a great idea though!

[–]Gameranurism 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Bout fkn time. What's creepy is pepole cashing in on peoples pain.

[–]Suliux 7 points8 points  (14 children)

I love this.

Orson Scott Card wrote something along these lines in the follow ups to Ender's Game.

[–]Lysdexic-Serpon 3 points4 points  (5 children)

I was going to say this! Such a strange life cycle.

[–]Cognitive_Spoon 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Those books got progressively more Acid feeling

[–]moohing 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Took me way too long to find the Speaker for the Dead comment. Came here for this

[–]nickh1979 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sign me up

[–]beautiandthesheep 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so cool.

[–]ellogovna304 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You son of a bitch, I’m in.

[–]flatironkicker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you'd either have to die in that position or wait for secondary flaccidity to set in during decomp to get in that position. both are doable though.

[–]OlKingCole 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I like this idea but it also makes me worry. Like what if my tree gets a disease and dies. Then my relatives go through a mini mourning for my corpse tree, like I died a second time :(

[–]UrMomGayLo1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i AM groot

[–]HeadCustomer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. This is how I wish to be buried. As a native tree in native soil with my bones feeding it for eternity.

I couldn't think of a more fitting way to honor the planet that gifted me this pleasure vessel than returning my host to the roots of life.

[–]atpased 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The body does not get turned into the tree in the sense most may be thinking. Carbon fixation in plants comes from CO2 in the air. The biomass of growing plants comes from pulling the carbon off CO2 and releasing O2 gas, and the carbon is cycled into sugar before being repurposed for any other structural product. Any "taller" the tree gets is from Mass out of the air.

Roots absorb water and ions, not carbon-based molecules. If the proper microbiome of bacteria and fungi exist in the soil around the body the mushrooms will be able to fixate and exchange our nitrogen content, and perhaps Iron, Magnesium, Phosphate, and stuff like that. Worms and bacteria can eat you up good but the tree isn't gonna use most of it

[–]dianthus-amurensis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have to disagree with your assessment. This is 100% how I would want to be buried. It's so much nicer than being burned to ashes or locked in a fancy box to rot in a chemically induced slowness for the rest of time.

[–]KingPotatoTheFourth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Meh, I'm sticking with my plan to get cremated then put in a gnome urn, so I can be forgotten in an attic and sold at a garage sale 60 years later, so I can proceed to haunt the new owners of my soul vessel

[–]-Immolation- 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Do you want a haunted forest? Because that's how you get a haunted forest.

[–]green-egg-and-ham 7 points8 points  (6 children)

I did this with my Placentia. I am now partially a plum tree :)

[–]Nukemarine 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Wait. The placenta you gave birth to or the one with your birth?

[–]grandelusions 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is how the pequininos come to be! Count me in!

[–]Loserboy18 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yes, all the nightsisters are dead, but their graves surround you

[–]wellshi7thatsucks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brings a new meaning to the million tree challenge. tricycle sounds

[–]The_Australian_Chef 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cool with me

[–]adventuresinnonsense 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually want one of these

[–]thelasttiktaalik 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Wasn't this how the aliens from Avatar were buried?

[–]HermIamHerm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Getting some serious Invasion of the Body Snatchers from this.

[–]S4MH41N 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cool thing about this also is that way later, if the wind blows your tree over, your creepy skeleton ass might come flying out and scare people

[–]Socially_inept62406 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess thats one way to contribute to the environment.

[–]Frog-lad 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm okay with this.

Personally I think continuing the cycle of natural energy is part of life and it's end.

I understand why people would want to be turned to ash and kept on a mantel, but why would this be too strange for the people who would be buried in a cemetery?

What do you think happens to your body in there? It decays and is consumed by the insects that will inevitably get through the coffin (if there's one to begin with). After that, what is consumed becomes nutrients for soil or the bugs are consumed elsewhere.

The same thing would happen if you're placed in one of these pods.

[–]kcpstil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You become the tree. Some African tribes do this. Your tree is planted when you're born, the placenta is buried with it when it's planted. Its your duty to care for your tree your whole life and you are buried under it when you die. Guy I met from this tribe said the worst fight he ever got in as a kid was when a girl came and told him some boys were peeing on his tree. Very insulting!